


Dancing In The Moonlight

by Samunderthelights



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Actor Armie Hammer, Charmie, Crushes, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, I Don't Even Know, Love at First Sight, M/M, Protective Armie Hammer, stripper timothee chalamet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-05-31 17:15:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19430500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Samunderthelights/pseuds/Samunderthelights
Summary: Armie is a handsome Hollywood actor, and to the outside world he seems to have it all ; a great career, a loving family, and a beautiful fiancée.But then he meets Timothée, a young and vulnerable stripper with a dark secret.It is a meeting that will change everything.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!  
> I know, I am terrible at writing summaries, I am terrible at tagging my stories, and to be fair, I am probably terrible at writing stories. But hey ho.  
> Just a quick warning, there is a fair bit of fluff in this story, but there are also some pretty dark things in there, and some things might be triggering for some of you. I will try and put a warning at the beginning of a chapter if there are things in there that I think might be upsetting. But I feel like I should be warning you before you start reading.  
> I just need to add that English isn't my first language, so if the grammar isn't perfect, sorry. I try my best, but you'll just have to forgive me if I get things wrong sometimes.  
> So, now that the no-fun part is over, I just want to say that I really enjoyed writing this story, and I really hope some of you will enjoy reading it!!!  
> XX

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/samanthadroppie/48071480792/)

“Remember when you said you wanted to go to a strip club for your birthday?” Armie asks, as he leads his blindfolded friend out of the car.  
“Yeah…,” Colin laughs.  
“To celebrate the end of your twenties.”  
“The end of your youth,” Eric, another of Armie’s friends, laughs, as Armie leads their friend across the parking lot.  
“Yeah…”  
“Well, we have a surprise for you,” Armie says, trying not to laugh, but he and his friends have been drinking since early in the afternoon, and the large group of friends can’t stop laughing at the prank they are pulling.  
“What the fuck did you do?” Colin asks, and he brings his hands up to his face, to take off the blindfold. But Armie stops him, not wanting him to see where they are. Not wanting to give him a chance to turn and leave.  
“You’ll see,” he says, as he leads his friend into the club. He had expected the club to be a little dodgy, but when he looks around, he is surprised to find it looking surprisingly nice. For just a moment, he actually forgets that he is pulling a prank, and that in a moment, they will most likely be out of here, heading off to a bar. For just a moment, he actually feels a little excited to be here.  
But then he snaps out of it, and he looks over at his friends, who are all laughing their heads off, Colin still blindfolded, not a clue what is happening.  
But then he takes off his blindfold, and for just a moment, he doesn’t realise where they are. He notices how dark it is, the loud music playing, the stage, the people sitting at the tables. He doesn’t get why his friends are still laughing. But then he notices the men behind the bar, the men walking around. The men on the posters on the wall.  
“You bastards!”  
“Surprise,” Armie laughs. “You wanted a strip club, so we…”  
“I didn’t want fucking… Magic Mike,” Colin laughs, shaking his head. “You’re an asshole, Hammer.”  
“Who says it was my idea?”  
“This has your name written all over it.”  
“Fair enough,” Armie laughs.  
“So are we staying, or what?”  
“We can stay for a drink, right?” Armie suggests, and the men seem a little uncomfortable at first, but when one of them points out the group of women sitting at one of the tables, they quickly agree to sit down at the table next to theirs.  
Soon enough, the two groups are laughing and chatting away, but when a group of men enter the stage, the women all turn to watch them do their routine. Armie had half expected men to be sliding up and down poles, he had expected them to look cheap. But he is ashamed of himself for thinking so little of them, when he watches them dance. He has never been able to dance, even at parties he is too embarrassed to get up and move a little. But as he watches the men move around on the stage so in sync with each other, he can’t take his eyes off them.  
He is fully aware of the fact that they are up on the stage to turn people on, to seduce them. But he just wants to watch them dance. And for just a moment, he forgets who they are. Who he is. For just a moment, he loses himself in their dancing. That is, until a young man enters the stage. He is so different from the others, he seems younger, he is nowhere near as muscular as them, and it makes him look more vulnerable. But he is so comfortable, so confident in his movements, that Armie can’t take his eyes off them. And it isn’t until the young man starts taking off his shirt, that he snaps out of it, and he fully realises where he is, and what he is watching.  
He looks over at his friends, to see if they have noticed him staring at the young man, but they are all staring at the men up on the stage, all fascinated by their movements, their dancing. Armie can’t help but smile, because this had only started out as a prank, but here they are, all clearly enjoying it.  
But then he notices a movement in the corner of his eye, and he looks away from his friends, up at the stage. The young man he had been staring at, is slowly but surely making his way over to them, now only wearing his shoes, and a pair of leather briefs. Armie can feel his heart starting to beat faster, as the young man stares him straight in the eye, with a smirk on his face.  
“Is he going to…?” Eric asks, but before he can even finish his sentence, the young man has jumped off the stage, and stepped up to Armie. People are cheering loudly, but Armie can hardly hear it, because his ears are buzzing. And as the young man starts dancing around his chair, flirting with him, seducing him, he can feel his skin tingling, burning.  
“Hi,” the young man says, that confident smirk still on his face, as he sits down in his lap, still dancing, still moving, making Armie’s heart beat even faster.  
“You lucky bastard,” Colin laughs, playfully punching the actor in the arm. The young dancer gets up, but not before burying his face in Armie’s neck, his lips only just grazing the skin.  
Armie is certain that everyone can now hear his heart beating, even over the loud music, because it has never beaten so loud before. Ever. And as he watches the dancer make his way up onto the stage, joining the other men again, he realises that everyone had been watching them. That people might have recognised him.

-

It has been a few days, but Armie can’t stop thinking about what had happened at the club. He had laughed it off when his friends had joked about it. But he had been terrified that what had happened would appear on social media. He had stayed up all night, checking his phone every five minutes. But nothing had appeared online. Still, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the young dancer.  
So he had decided to go back to the club. But without his friends here with him, he feels a little less confident. He takes a deep breath though, and orders himself a beer, before sitting down at a table.  
“Mister Hammer, what brings you back to our club?” someone asks, and Armie turns to face whoever it is. He is surprised to find the young dancer standing there, looking very different than he had done the other night. He had been wearing a leather outfit back then, but this time he is in jeans and a t-shirt. It makes him look even younger, even more vulnerable.  
“I wanted a beer, so…”  
“Ah… they don’t serve those in the bar across the road?” the young man asks, a small smile forming on his lips. Armie can’t help but smile, because the dancer has seen right through him. “You enjoyed the show then?”  
“I did. You were… it was very good. Very well choreographed,” Armie says, and he looks down at the beer in his hand, unable to face the young man, when he remembers his lips grazing the skin of his neck.  
“Thank you,” the young man laughs. “I’m Timothée.”  
“Armie.”  
“I know,” Timothée laughs.  
“Right… so can I maybe buy you a beer or something?” Armie asks, and the dancer checks his watch, then nods.  
“Sure,” he says, as he sits down at Armie’s table. Armie gets up and goes over to the bar, still not sure why he is back at the club. But he has to admit to himself that his heart had skipped a beat when he had just realised that it had been the young man who had been speaking to him. And that the thought of having a beer together, perhaps getting to know each other better, makes the adrenaline rush through his body.  
“Thanks,” Timothée says, when Armie hands him a beer. “So… you didn’t bring your friends this time?”  
“No, I…”  
“Why are you here?”  
“I’m not sure,” Armie admits, smiling down at his beer.  
“Does your girlfriend know you’re here?”  
“Fiancée.”  
“Fiancée.”  
“No,” Armie admits, looking up at the dancer. “I’m only here for a beer though.”  
“Not to watch men dance?” Timothée asks, a small smirk on his face. “Don’t worry, you’re not the first, and you won’t be the last.”  
“I’m not… I’m straight.”  
“You all are,” Timothée says, and Armie can’t help but smile. Because he can see that those words mean nothing to the young man anymore, that he has heard them hundreds if not thousands of times before. “You see that guy over there?”  
“With the green jacket?” Armie asks, and Timothée nods.  
“He’s married, and… straight,” the dancer says, keeping his voice down, and Armie can’t help but smile. “He’s here almost every night, and he pays for private dances at least twice a week.”  
“Private dances?”  
“Mhm.”  
“You mean…”  
“Dancing,” Timothée laughs. “Nothing more. Although I’m sure he would pay for more if he could.”  
“Are you supposed to tell me this?”  
“No,” Timothée laughs. “But I know you won’t tell anyone. Because you can’t tell anyone you’ve been here.”  
“Right. And will you be telling people about me being here?”  
“No.” The dancers shrugs. “You’re not that interesting.”  
“Thanks,” Armie laughs, and the young man flashes a smile, clearly only teasing him. “These private dances, you do these too?”  
“Yeah. Why? Are you interested in one?” Timothée asks, and Armie is about to make a joke. But then he notices the look in the young man’s eyes, and he realises that he is daring him. Perhaps testing him.  
“Maybe.”  
“You have just become a lot more interesting, mister Hammer.”

-

“I have to go to a meeting,” Armie says, as he drives into the parking lot of the club.  
“At this time?” Elizabeth asks, not even trying to hide how irritated she is. “How many more meetings will there be about this movie, Armie?”  
“I’m not sure.”  
“I miss you.”  
“I know, but I’ve got to go now,” Armie says. “I love you.”  
“I love you too.”  
Armie presses the button to end the call, and quickly gets out of his car, to go into the club. He has been back a few times over the last weeks, and he has watched the show every time. But he hasn’t spent any more time with Timothée. The young man had always been working, so there never had been any time. But when he enters the club, he notices the young man coming out of the private area, with one of the other dancers. Timothée seems upset, and the other man is talking to him. Armie’s initial instinct is to go over to him to ask him how he’s doing, but who is he to do so?  
So he orders himself a drink, and sits down at his usual table. The one where people can’t really see him, but he can still watch the show. Watch Timothée.  
He has been at the club for a while, when Timothée notices him, and he joins him at his table.  
“Mister Hammer.”  
“You owe me a dance,” Armie says, and the young man flashes a smile, but Armie can see that it isn’t real.  
“I do.”  
“I noticed you, before. You seemed upset. Did something happen?”  
“It’s nothing,” Timothée says, looking small and vulnerable. Fragile.  
“What happened?” Armie asks, reaching out his hand to put it on the dancer’s arm. But Timothée flinches, and he looks away. “Did someone hurt you?”  
“No.”  
“Timothée…”  
“Some guys, they just… they get rough,” Timothée admits.  
“Did he…,” Armie begins, but he is scared to finish his sentence. Timothée lifts up his t-shirt, showing his stomach, which is already bruising.  
“He wanted more, and I said no.”  
“Does this happen a lot?”  
“Yeah,” Timothée admits, and Armie nods, not sure what to say. He had come here, thinking little of the club, of the men. But he had watched them, and he had respected them. But he had come back because there had been something about the young man, something that had made his heart skip a beat. But only now, when he sees this, does he realise what the young man has to go through every day. That men are looking at him as a piece of meat, something they can use, abuse. That perhaps, he himself had been looking at him as a thing, rather than a real human being. Only now, does he see the real person. The boy. The beautiful boy that is sitting in front of him.  
“Why do you work here?”  
“I wanted to be an actor,” Timothée admits. “That’s why I left home, and moved here. I got a part in a movie, and I thought things would just work out, but…”  
“They didn’t?”  
“No. So a friend told me about this place, told me they are always hiring new guys.”  
“Do you like your job?” Armie asks, but when the dancer looks up at him, he can tell that Timothée hates doing what he does.  
“I like these guys, and… I don’t mind dancing, taking my clothes off even. But…,” Timothée begins, but then he stops himself. “I shouldn’t be telling you all of this. You’re here to watch the show. To…”  
“I’m here for you,” Armie admits, but he immediately regrets it.  
“Why?”  
“I like you.”  
“Don’t.”  
“Why not?”  
“You don’t know me, Armie,” Timothée says, his voice so cold, so empty, that it gives the actor chills all over. “That guy you saw on your first night here, who danced for you, that is not me. That’s all an act. I am not… You’re a nice guy, but you should be at home with your girlfriend.”  
“Fiancée.”  
“Fiancée.”  
“Let me help you,” Armie tries, but Timothée gets up.  
“I don’t need your help. I’m not a victim, I’m not… I don’t need the charity of some rich guy, Armie. I don’t need pity, I don’t need… I don’t need saving.”  
“But…”  
“Bye,” Timothée says, and without saying another word, the young dancer walks off. Armie feels awful, and he feels guilty. He wishes he could help the young man, but he simply doesn’t know how.

-

“You haven’t been yourself all week,” Elizabeth says, as she hands Armie his coffee. “What happened at that meeting?”  
“Nothing.”  
“Are you sure? You’ve been quiet, you’ve been…”  
“I’m just tired.”  
“So there are no problems with the movie?” Elizabeth asks. Armie shrugs. “Are there?”  
“No.”  
“What is wrong with you?”  
“Nothing!”  
“Fine, suit yourself, then.”  
“Fine!” Armie snaps, as he gets up. He grabs his coffee and storms out of the room. He knows that his fiancée has nothing to do with the situation, and that he is irritated because of what had happened with Timothée. He knows he should apologise, but he can’t get himself to. He is simply too angry, too frustrated.

-

It has been a few weeks, and Armie had been too nervous to go back to the club. Too nervous to upset Timothée. Perhaps too ashamed. But he and Elizabeth have been arguing nearly every day for over a week now, and he knows he needs to sort this, or it will ruin his relationship. So he has finally forced himself to go back to the club.  
But when he gets there, he doesn’t see Timothée anywhere. He expects him to be with someone, so he orders himself a drink, and sits down at a table. But one of the dancers comes up to his table, and sits down.  
“You’re Timothée’s friend, aren’t you?”  
“I…”  
“He’s gone.”  
“What do you mean?” Armie asks, and the man sighs.  
“He left, a few days after you were here. Apparently there is this guy, who’s a little too interested in him.”  
“You mean…”  
“He left, because he didn’t want to cause any trouble for the guy. He knew that if he stayed, the guy would keep coming here, just to see him. And if he did, it would end his relationship, and possibly his career,” the man explains, and Armie has never felt so caught out. So exposed.  
“He didn’t mention any names, but… I’ve seen the way you stare at him.”  
“I’m not…”  
“He’s a good kid. He was willing to give up his job to help you. So you accept his help, and you leave him be.”  
“I only wanted to help him,” Armie tries, but the dancer gives him a stern look.  
“Go home.”  
Without saying another word, Armie gets up, and he leaves the club. He gets into his car, but he is too surprised, too shocked, too upset to go home. Because what will he do now? What can he do now?


	2. Chapter 2

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/samanthadroppie/48071480792/)

“I told you, he left.”  
“Please give me his address,” Armie says, as the dancer who had told him about Timothée leaving the club yesterday, looks at him. “I only want to go and tell him that he can keep working here. That I won’t come back.”  
“I’m not giving you his address.”  
“What, you think I’m a serial killer? A stalker? A…”  
“A stalker, yeah,” the dancer says, and Armie can’t help but laugh.  
“Come on, man.”  
“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”  
“No.”  
“If they find him chopped up in pieces, I know it was you,” the dancer says, and Armie shakes his head, laughing. “What is it about him anyway? Timothée, he’s… don’t get me wrong, he’s a good kid, a great dancer. But most of those guys are… well, look at them,” the dancer laughs. “What is about Timothée?”  
“He’s just…”  
“What?”  
“Nothing.”

-

Armie has had Timothée’s address for days now, but he still isn’t sure if he should go see him or not. He wants to go see him and tell him that he can go back to his job, but he also wants to help him, to get him away from the club, away from the people who have hurt him. But he knows that it would only upset the young man if he were to offer help. So he has no idea what to do. Or if he should simply leave things be. If he should just try to forget about the dancer.  
But when he watches his fiancée put on her dress for the party tonight, moving so gracefully, with such confidence, he can’t help but think about the young dancer. About the way he had moved up on that stage. He had looked so confident, so sure of what he had been doing. And still, there had been something different about him. There had been something vulnerable about him.  
“Remember Colin’s birthday?” Armie asks, and Elizabeth turns to face him.  
“Of course,” she says, a small smile forming on her lips. “You talked about it for weeks, you were so proud of yourself for coming up with the idea to bring him to that club.”  
“I didn’t…”  
“You did,” Elizabeth laughs. “You men with your jokes and pranks.”  
“He could laugh at it though.”  
“I’m sure he could. But why did you bring it up?”  
“I ehm…,” Armie begins, but he hesitates for a moment. Not sure if he should tell his fiancée about Timothée. But then he takes a deep breath, and continues. “I got to talking to this guy who works there.”  
“A stripper?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I think I would like to try and help him,” Armie says, trying to sound as calm as possible, but his heart is nearly beating out of his chest.  
“With what?”  
“To get out of that place. People are hurting him out there.”  
“He told you that?” Elizabeth asks. “Why?”  
“I’ve been back a few times, to talk to him. He is covered in bruises, he…”  
“Why would you go back to that place?”  
“Because he looked like he needed help,” Armie says, but when his fiancée raises an eyebrow, he feels caught out. She doesn’t say anything though. “If I can help him get away from the club, maybe get another job…”  
“If you feel like you have to do this, then do it. But… I don’t think you should go back to that place. If people see you there, who knows what they will write about you.”  
“I know. I won’t go back,” Armie says, feeling embarrassed. Ashamed. He feels like he is fifteen again, being told off by his parents. So he simply gets up and leaves the room, not sure if he has just done the right thing or if he has just made a mistake.

-

Armie has been knocking on the apartment door for a few minutes now, but there is still no answer. He looks over his shoulder, cold chills running up and down his spine. He is not used to being in these types of neighbourhoods, and he is not ashamed to admit that it terrifies him to be here, on his own, out in the dark.  
He is about to turn and leave, to get back to his car, when the door finally opens. Timothée is standing there, looking like he has only just woken up. But when he realises it is Armie who has woken him up, his eyes widen.  
“What are you doing here?” he asks. “How do you know where I live?”  
“May I come in?”  
“Sure,” Timothée says, but he looks a little hesitant, as the actor steps into his apartment. Armie had been preparing himself for the worst, but he is still shocked to find a one-room apartment. There isn’t even a sofa or a chair, not even a tv. Armie isn’t sure what to do or say, so he simply turns to face Timothée who is staring down at his feet, an embarrassed look on his face.  
“May I sit down?” Armie asks, but before the young man can answer, he sits down on the side of the bed. But it only makes things more uncomfortable, and he is starting to regret coming here at all.  
“Can I get you a glass of water?”  
“Thanks.”  
Timothée grabs a glass out of the cupboard, fills it up with water, and hands it over to the actor. But he doesn’t grab himself a drink, nor does he sit down. He simply stares out of the window, looking more than uncomfortable.  
“I heard you left the club.”  
“I did.”  
“I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable,” Armie says, looking up at the young man. “If you want to go back to your job, then…”  
“I don’t.”  
“Did something else happen?”  
“No,” Timothée says, still staring out of the window. “Why are you here?”  
“They told me you had left the club because of me. I didn’t meant for that to happen, I just… I’m here to help.”  
“I don’t need your help,” Timothée says, finally looking back at the actor. “Go home.”  
“Then let me buy you a beer.”  
“Does your girlfriend know you’re here?”  
“Fiancée.”  
“Fiancée.”  
“She does,” Armie says, and for a moment, the young man stares into his eyes, as though he is trying to read them. He then sees a change on Timothée’s face, as a small smile forms on his lips. “Want to go for a beer then?”  
“Let me take a shower first.”

“Have you been here before?” Armie asks, after they’ve had a few beers, and he has run out of things to say. He has been trying to make small talk, avoiding the subject of his work, Timothée’s work, Elizabeth. It had gone alright for an hour or so, but there are only so many things he can say about the weather.  
“Yeah,” Timothée says, looking down at the beer in his hand. “I’ve met up with people here.”  
“Friends?”  
“No,” Timothée says. “Definitely not friends. Just people.”  
“Dates?” Armie asks, but he can tell by the look on the young man’s face, that he has said the wrong thing. “I’ve never been here before. It’s…”  
“You’re used to better.”  
“Not better, just…,” Armie says, but he can’t think of the right word.  
“I bet you’re the first Hollywood actor who has ever walked through those doors,” Timothée says, and a small smirk forms on his lips.  
“Did you think I would leave if you brought me here?” Armie laughs. “Was this place supposed to scare me off?”  
“Maybe.”  
“Really?”  
“Come on, man. You’ve been a rich kid all your life. You wouldn’t normally be caught dead in a place like this,” Timothée laughs, and Armie can’t help but smile.  
“I’m still here, aren’t I?”  
“Yes,” Timothée says, before staring back down at his drink. “Yes, you are.”

“Thanks for the drinks,” Timothée says, when they leave the bar.  
“We should do this again.”  
“No, we shouldn’t.”  
“Why not?” Armie asks, sounding more than just a little confused.  
“Because I don’t need help, Armie. I’m sure you mean well, but… I don’t want you to come and see me again.”  
“Just for a drink…”  
“Go home, Armie.”  
“But…,” Armie tries, but Timothée turns around and walks off, leaving Armie standing there on his own, trying to take in what has just happened.

-

“… he went to see that stripper he hung out with on your birthday.” Armie hears Elizabeth say, as he steps into the house. They had invited a group of friends over for a barbeque, and the afternoon had been great, but when Armie hears Elizabeth tell Colin about Timothée, when he hears her tell him his lie, he feels like his legs are about to give out.  
“The stripper he hung out with?”  
“Yeah, the guy he talked to… some kid who told him about his problems…”  
“Oh, right,” Colin says, and for a moment, Armie wants to step into the kitchen, to get involved in the conversation. But his legs weigh a ton right now, and all he can do is listen to the conversation play out.  
“He went to see him, to try and help him.”  
“Yeah, he told me about that,” Colin says. “He feels sorry for him, so…”  
“He has always wanted us to get a stray dog, now he has his own charity project,” Elizabeth laughs, and Armie feels a sharp sting going through his chest. He hears footsteps coming towards the living room, so he pretends to have only just entered the room, and when his fiancée comes up to him, he kisses her, before going into the kitchen.  
“What is all this about you and some stripper?” Colin asks, keeping his voice down, but Armie still can’t help but feel nervous that someone will hear them. So he leads his friend out of the house, to the front yard, where they sit down on the wooden bench.  
“That guy…”  
“What guy?”  
“Who danced, the night we were there,” Armie tries to explain, but Colin just shrugs.  
“There were a lot of guys…”  
“You know what guy,” Armie says, and he shoots Colin an angry glare. It takes a moment, but then Colin realises. “Yeah, that guy.”  
“What about him?”  
“I went back, a few days later, to see him.”  
“Why?” Colin asks.  
“I don’t know, man,” Armie admits. “But when we were there, and I saw him, I just…”  
“You had to see him again?”  
“Yeah. I felt like he needed help.”  
“From you?” Colin asks, a confused look on his face. “He seemed happy enough, doing what he was doing. Are you sure you didn’t go back because you wanted to watch him dance again?”  
“No,” Armie quickly says, but he does avoid Colin’s eyes. Not sure if he is telling the truth or not. “I’ve been back a few times though, and we’ve been hanging out.”  
“Hanging out?”  
“We’ve had drinks, that’s it,” Armie explains. “I’m not… I want to help him.”  
“Why do you need to help this guy though? You don’t even know him.”  
“Because he moved out here to be an actor. Things didn’t work out for him, and he ended up in that shithole, where sick perverts are beating the shit out of him when he doesn’t give them what they want.”  
“So an aspiring actor told you, a famous actor, a sob story, then asked you for help? That doesn’t sound dodgy at all,” Colin says, and Armie can’t help but smile, because he knows his friend is only looking out for him.  
“He didn’t ask me for help. He keeps sending me away, telling me he doesn’t want my help. He doesn’t want to be a charity case.”  
“But you keep going back to see him?”  
“He deserves better.”  
“You don’t know him, man. He could be…”  
“He’s a good guy,” Armie interrupts him. “He doesn’t deserve to be beaten up.”  
“I believe you, but…,” Colin says, and he looks over his shoulder, to make sure no one is around. “he didn’t tell you any of this when we were there. You went back to see him, before you knew any of this.”  
“Yeah…”  
“If you go back and see him again, make sure it’s worth it. Think about what you have, what you risk losing,” Colin says, and Armie looks down at his hands, too embarrassed to face him. “Just think about it.”

-

“Why are you here?” Timothée asks, when Armie is at his door again, only days later. “I told you to leave me alone.”  
“Let’s go for a drink,” Armie suggests, and the young man sighs, stepping to the side, to let the actor into his apartment. “How have you been?”  
“I’m fine.”  
“Have you gone back to the club to get your job back?” Armie asks, as he sits down on the bed.  
“No,” Timothée says, looking down at his feet.  
“Do you have work?” Armie asks. “Can you afford your rent? Can I help out?”  
“I don’t need your help, Armie,” Timothée snaps, but the look on his face is one of embarrassment rather than anger. “I can manage on my own just fine.”  
“Are you sure? It would be a loan, it wouldn’t be charity.”  
“I don’t need your money.”  
“Right,” Armie sighs. “Want to go for a drink then?”  
“No,” Timothée says. “Just leave, please.”  
“Have I done something to upset you?”  
“I am not your friend, Armie. You don’t know me,” the young man says. “I get that you want to help me, to feel better about yourself. But go and find some other project and leave me alone.”  
“I just want to hang out,” Armie tries, but he can see that Timothée is close to tears. “Why can’t you…”  
“Because of what I am,” Timothée spits out. “You can’t be seen with someone like me.”  
“Because you used to dance at the club?”  
“You don’t get it, do you?”  
“No, I don’t,” Armie says, and he gets up and takes a step towards the young man, who takes a step back.  
“How do you think I make money?” Timothée asks, and for a moment, Armie doesn’t get what he is trying to say, but then it hits him. “Yeah, I don’t just dance, Armie.”  
“The people you brought to the bar…”  
“Men, who pay me to…”  
“Yeah,” Armie interrupts him, not needing to hear the rest.  
“So go home, please.”  
“No, I’m not leaving.”  
“I’m not going to sleep with you,” Timothée says, and Armie can’t help but smile. “I know those guys are married, but I don’t know their wives. But I know who your girlfriend is, so…”  
“Fiancée.”  
“Fiancée,” the young man repeats, and he sighs. “I can’t do that. I’m sorry.”  
“I don’t want to sleep with you,” Armie says, but he can feel his stomach doing cartwheels, as the words leave his mouth.  
“Please just go,” Timothée says, but Armie can hear the exhaustion and embarrassment in his voice. He shakes his head, before stepping up to him, and wrapping his arms around him. He expects the young man to push him away, but instead, he can feel him clinging onto him, his nails digging into his back.  
“I’m not going anywhere, Armie whispers, before kissing the top of his head.

“How long have you been doing this?” Armie asks, when they are sitting on the bed, having a cup of coffee, a little while later.  
“A little over two years.”  
“And you are how old?”  
“Twenty-three.”  
“Shit… Why didn’t you just go back home when things didn’t work out for you?” Armie asks, but the young man just shrugs, an embarrassed look on his face. “Do your parents know?”  
“They think I work at a restaurant.”  
“Did you start out just dancing, or…”  
“The first few weeks, yeah,” Timothée says, staring down into his coffee. “But then I was almost kicked out of my apartment. Some guys at the club heard I needed money, so they told me how I could make enough to pay my rent, so… And I look different than most guys out there, so…”  
“How often do you…” Armie tries, but he can’t get himself to say the words.  
“Almost every night,” Timothée admits, and Armie feels a wave of nausea washing over him.  
“I told you, I’m not…”  
“Let me help you,” Armie interrupts him. “Please. I can find you a job.”  
“I have a job.”  
“You deserve better than this, man,” Armie says, but the young man doesn’t say anything, he just looks away. “Please.”  
“I could do with a friend,” Timothée eventually says, and Armie can’t help but smile.  
“Then I will be your friend.”


	3. Chapter 3

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/samanthadroppie/48071480792/)

“Why have you invited him?” Elizabeth asks, as she picks up her handbag. “It was supposed to be a family dinner.”  
“Because he’s my friend. Colin will be there too.”  
“But you two have been friends for years. You hardly know this guy.”  
“I want him to be there,” Armie says, as they leave the house. “and it’s tough enough for him, without knowing anyone. So be nice to him, please.”  
“Of course I’ll be nice to him. I’m just wondering why he needs to be there. I thought you only wanted to help him.”  
“For fuck sake, Liz,” Armie snaps.  
“Forget I asked.”

“Have you ever been to London?” Armie asks, as he sits down next to Timothée, later during dinner that night.  
“No, I’ve never been to Europe.”  
“Would you like to go there?”  
“Of course,” Timothée laughs. “and I will go there. One day,” he adds, a shy look on his face. He had been quiet all night, looking a little embarrassed, being surrounded by Armie’s family, who had been all dressed up in their best clothes. Here he was, wearing his best clothes, but they were just a pair of black jeans and a black sweater, no designer suit or designer dress, like Armie’s family had been wearing. Armie had noticed his embarrassment, and he had tried to reassure him all night, with smiles, but seeing as they had been at opposite sides of the table, they hadn’t been able to say a word to each other. Not until now.  
“I’ll have to go to London for a couple of weeks, why don’t you come with me? We’ll go see visit all the tourist attractions, we’ll…”  
“Will Elizabeth be there?” Timothée asks, and Armie looks up, to see his fiancée chatting to his parents.  
“No, she has to work.”  
“Then I don’t think it would be appropriate for me to be there.”  
“Why?” Armie asks, and he can’t help but smile at the blush on the young man’s face. “Come on, man. It will be fun.”  
“I really don’t think…”  
“Just a week then?” Armie suggests, and the young man gets the smallest, shyest face on his face. “You know you want to say yes.”  
“I do, but…”  
“Great,” Armie laughs. “I’d better go and buy you a ticket then.”  
“Wait, I didn’t say…”  
“Can’t hear you,” Armie laughs, as he gets up, to makes his way over to Elizabeth.  
“Armie!”  
“Can’t hear you.”

-

“How did he meet the boy?” Armie can hear his mother ask, as he makes his way down the stairs. He stops in his tracks, his heart skipping a beat.  
“They went to some club, it was joke for Colin’s birthday. The boy was a stripper there,” Elizabeth explains. “Armie saw the boy was hurt, so now he feels like it’s his job to help him.”  
“He’s a stripper?”  
“Yes,” Elizabeth says, and Armie can hear how uncomfortable she is. “Armie is trying to help him get out of there, find a real job.”  
“What is he doing, dealing with those kinds of people?” his mother asks. “Doesn’t he realise that people talk?”  
“I have told him that, but he won’t leave it alone. He seems to think they are friends.”  
“The boy is probably just using him. He will most likely end up selling his story to the press, or…”  
“He is my friend,” Armie says, as he steps into the living room. “You don’t know him.”  
“And you do?” Elizabeth asks.  
“You don’t have a right to judge him, just because he’s…”  
“You can’t be seen with people like that, Armie,” his mother says. “What will people think?”  
“I don’t care. I care about…,” Armie begins, but then he stops himself.  
“What?” his mother asks, “You care about him?”  
“I care about my friend,” he says, but his mother has the same look on her face that she had had when Armie was fifteen. It makes him feel like running away, locking himself up in his bedroom, curling up into a ball and crying until he feels like he can cry no more. But he straightens his back, trying to hide how hurt he is, how small and fragile he truly feels right now.  
“I hope he is who you think he is,” Elizabeth says.  
“He is.”

-

“Mister Chalamét?” Armie asks, when he sees the young man nervously looking around him at the busy airport.  
“Armie,” Timothée says, a relieved smile on his face. He gives Armie a big hug, then awkwardly steps back, a shy look on his face. “I wasn’t sure if you…”  
“If I had forgotten?”  
“Yeah…”  
“Come on, man,” Armie laughs. “Let’s go.”  
“Where are we going?”  
“The apartment.”

“This is bigger than…”  
“Your apartment?” Armie asks, as they look out of the window, down at the busy London street. He looks up at the young man next to him, and sees an embarrassed look on his face. “I wouldn’t be able to afford the rent on this place either.”  
“But I thought you were…”  
“Rich?” Armie suggests, and he can’t help but smile. “My family is, but I refuse to take their money.”  
“Why?”  
“Me and my family, we’re… something happened when I was younger, and it made the relationship between my and my parents very…”  
“What happened?” Timothée interrupts him.  
“They didn’t agree with something I did. I hardly spoke to them, until I could get my own place. Then we didn’t speak at all. Not until Elizabeth and I, we… until we got engaged.”  
“I had no idea,” Timothée says, and Armie can’t help but smile.  
“No, I know what you thought. Spoiled rich kid, never had to do anything myself. Probably bought my way into movies…”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“No, I get it,” Armie says, and he shrugs. “That’s the story they put out there. The image they have put out there. We have money, we’re a perfect family. But people don’t get that I have fought to get to where I am now.”  
“What did you do?” Timothée asks, as they make their way over to the kitchen. “Was it drugs?”  
“No,” Armie laughs. “I mean, I did do drugs, but they never found out.”  
“Then what…”  
“It was nothing.” Armie shrugs, trying to hide how much it still hurts to even think about it. But when he sees the young man staring at him, he has to look away, because he feels as though he is looking straight into his soul.  
“You’re lying.”  
“Yeah.”

-

Armie and Timothée have been on the set of Armie’s new movie all day, and they are now on their way to have drinks with Frank, the director of the movie. He has invited a bunch of his friends, and although it has been a long day, Armie knows that Frank really wants them to be there.  
“Do you know any of his friends?” Timothée asks, a nervous look on his face.  
“I know his wife will be there, and I think he has invited Luca, who is also a director. We met at an event once, but I have no idea who else will be there.”  
“Will there be any other…”  
“Strippers?” Armie interrupts him, and Timothée playfully punches him in the arm. “Relax, it’s just dinner.”  
“What if they ask you how we know each other.”  
“Just tell them we…”  
“What?” the young man laughs.  
“We met at a party. It’s not a lie,” Armie laughs. “And if they ask you what it is you do, just…”  
“Make them a good deal?” Timothée asks, trying to keep a straight face. But then Armie wraps an arm around his shoulder, still laughing, and he pulls him close, as they make their way into the bar.  
“Relax,” Armie whispers into his ear, before letting go of him. “You’ll be fine.”

“So, what do you do?” Luca, the director friend of Frank, asks, and Armie can see Timothée’s face turning a dark shade of red.  
“He is in between jobs at the moment,” Armie says.  
“Ah, I see,” the director says, “are the two of you…”  
“Friends,” the two men quickly say, and the director gets a big smile on his face.  
“I see. That’s a shame, you look very handsome together.”  
“I ehm, I’m straight, I have a… ehm, a girlfriend,” Armie stutters.  
“Fiancée.”  
“Fiancée,” Armie quickly says, his heart now nearly beating out of his chest. He is a huge fan of Luca, and here he is, making an absolute fool of himself. The director just laughs, before making his way over to Frank.  
“Shit,” Armie spits out, and he sighs. “I really want to work with him, and I just…”  
“He called you handsome.”  
“He called us handsome,” Armie says, as he glares at the young man. “So when I audition, I’ll just bring you with me?”  
“It wasn’t that bad.”  
“He laughed at me, then fucked off.”  
“He… maybe he just… I’m sure he didn’t…,” Timothée tries, but Armie can’t help but laugh at both himself, and the young man trying to reassure him but failing miserably. “Want a beer?”  
“Yeah,” Armie laughs. “Make that two.”

-

“I’m going to miss this,” Timothée says, when they are having another midnight dinner on the balcony of the apartment. Armie has long days on set, and they haven’t been able to visit a lot of tourist attractions, but Timothée hasn’t complained at all. He has just hung around on set every day, and afterwards they have walked around London, and around midnight, they have dinner on their balcony.  
“Me too,” Armie says. “Why don’t you stay?”  
“I can’t, I have to get back to work,” Timothée says, but they both know what that means, and even with just the candlelight, Armie can see the blush on the young man’s face.  
“It’s not safe.”  
“I know.”  
“Those men, they…”  
“I know, Armie,” Timothée interrupts him. “I know that it isn’t safe, that the chances of me being raped, or murdered are…,” he begins, but then he stops himself. “I don’t do it because I want to do it, I do it because if I don’t, I’ll be out on the street. Then I’ll have to go home, and I’ll be… I’ll be a failure,” he admits, looking more than just a little embarrassed. “I have tried to get a normal job, but every person who wants to become an actor is out there, and they all end up looking for work, because…”  
“They fail,” Armie says, and the young man nods. “but this could kill you.”  
“I know…”  
“I know it sucks to have failed, but I’m sure your parents wouldn’t judge you. If you go home, they will…”  
“I lied to them,” Timothée interrupts them. “And I lied to you. I didn’t tell them I work at a restaurant. I told them I am an actor, that I have made a couple of movies, but they just haven’t been released yet. If I go home now…”  
“Just explain it to them.”  
“They are so proud of me. They keep telling everyone,” Timothée says, and Armie sighs, because he knows what it’s like to want to please your parents. To not want to disappoint them.  
“But you will die if you keep doing this,” he says. “Imagine what it would do to them if that were to happen.”  
“I know…”  
“Just let me help you,” Armie tries. “Let me at least pay your rent so you don’t have to have go out there again.”  
“I can’t take your money, because I won’t be able to pay you back.”  
“You won’t owe me anything. I’m doing it to keep you safe,” Armie says, but Timothée is avoiding his gaze, looking down at his plate, fighting his tears. “Look at me, man.”  
“I can’t.”  
“Look at me,” Armie repeats, and the young man looks up at him. “I care about you. A lot.”  
“Don’t.”  
“I do,” the actor says, and he reaches out and puts his hand on the side of the young man’s neck. “I need you to be safe. Do you hear me?” he asks, and Timothée nods, as a tear rolls down his face. “You don’t have to sleep with those guys anymore.”  
“Thank you,” Timothée whispers, as more tears start falling from his face, and he gets up. Armie gets up too, and he wraps his arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. “Thank you,” Timothée whispers again. But Armie just kisses the top of his head, before closing his eyes, relieved that the young man has finally accepted his help.


	4. Chapter 4

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/samanthadroppie/48071480792/)

“Do you miss her?” Timothée asks, when he catches Armie staring at his phone one morning.  
“Huh?”  
“Elizabeth.”  
“Oh, yeah.”  
“Can’t she get some time off for just a few days?” Timothée asks, as he sits down next to Armie on the sofa.  
“She could, but…”  
“But?” Timothée laughs.  
“She hates having to wait around when I’m working. She’d rather just stay there and work.”  
“That’s a shame,” the young man says, and Armie looks down at his phone again.  
“Yeah… I’m glad you’re here though, and that you decided to stay for another week.”  
“You make it sound like I had a choice,” Timothée laughs, as Armie puts his phone in his pocket. “But I’m glad I’m here too. Thank you.”  
“Stop thanking me.”  
“Sorry.”  
“Timmy,” Armie laughs, and the young man’s cheeks turn a dark shade of red. “You’re not my charity project.”  
“I know,” Timothée says, looking down at his hands.  
“So, what about you? Do you have someone waiting for you back home?” Armie asks, trying to change the subject, to lighten the mood.  
“Don’t you think you’d know about them by now?” Timothée laughs, as he looks up at the actor. “No, with my work it’s not… you don’t want to have to tell someone about that.”  
“But there have been…”  
“I’ve had boyfriends.”  
“Boyfriends.”  
“Yeah,” Timothée says. “Surprised?”  
“No,” Armie says, and he can’t help but smile.  
“What?”  
“Nothing.”  
“What?”  
“Have you always known?” Armie asks, and the young man nods. “And did it ever, you know… was it ever an issue for you?”  
“No.” Timothée shrugs.  
“For your family?”  
“No.”  
“When did you tell them?” Armie asks, and he can tell that Timothée is starting to get a little suspicious if maybe there is more to these questions, but Armie ignores the look in his eyes, and tries to keep a blank look on his face. Tries to stay cold. Empty.  
“I was probably fourteen, fifteen. I had a boyfriend, so I told them, and they just wanted me to invite him over for dinner, so they could meet him. And that was that, really.”  
“And they never…”  
“Armie,” Timothée interrupts him. “What happened?”  
“Nothing, I… nothing.”  
“What did they do?” the young man asks, and Armie feels as though someone has sucked all of the oxygen out of the air. He feels like he can’t breath, and for a moment, he is seeing stars. “Armie…”  
“I had a boyfriend,” he then blurts out, and as soon as the words have left his mouth, for the very first time in his life, he feels as though a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.  
“What was his name?”  
“Matt,” Armie says, and he can’t help but smile when he thinks back to the first time he had seen the boy walk into the classroom. “We were fifteen, and we… I don’t even remember how we became friends, but… we just sort of ended up smoking together. We always hung out together after school,” he tells, and when he looks up, he finds Timothée looking at him, with the kindest, warmest look on his face, and it makes him feel all kinds of things. Things he knows he shouldn’t be feeling, so he quickly looks down at his hands again. “One day he ehm… he asked me if he could kiss me. So we made out, and we kept making out. And we were still making out, a couple of months later,” he says, a shy smile on his face.  
“Was he your first boyfriend?” Timothée asks, and Armie nods. “Was he the first guy you liked?”  
“Yeah,” Armie admits. “but I really liked him. Fuck, I loved him, man.”  
“What happened?”  
“My parents came home early from an event, and they walked in on us,” the actor says, the pain from that night still as raw as it had been all those years ago. “They ehm… they told him that he was disgusting, they called him a pervert.”  
“Fuck…”  
“They told him that if they’d ever see him anywhere near me again, they would have him arrested,” Armie continues. “and after he had left, they told me I couldn’t be like that. I couldn’t do such things. I was better than that. I had to be better than that.”  
“But why?”  
“Because of who we are,” Armie says. “Because of our family. They told me they hadn’t raised me to be so disgusting, and… if I would ever do it again, I would be disowned.”  
“I had no idea…”  
“That wasn’t even the worst part of it,” the actor says, fighting against his tears, as he remembers every single detail of that night, and the days, weeks, months after. “The worst part was the look on my mother’s face. She looked at me like she didn’t know me, like I was… like I was nothing. I was worse than nothing, I was…”  
“You had disappointed her.”  
“Yeah,” Armie says, still looking down at his hands. “and it wasn’t until I got engaged to Liz, that my parents told me ‘I love you’ again.”  
“That is sick,” the young man says, and Armie nods. “And Elizabeth, you…”  
“I love her,” Armie says, and he looks up at Timothée. “I do.”  
“So you’re not…”  
“I don’t know,” the actor admits, never having said those words out loud before. Never even having properly admitted this to himself. “But I do love Liz.”  
“I know,” Timothée says, and he lets out a sigh, before taking the actor’s hand in his.  
“Timmy?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I’m glad you’re here.”  
“Me too.”

-

“I don’t want him here, Armie!” Elizabeth yells from the other room, and Armie can hear her throwing her shoes around the room. “You don’t spend Thanksgiving with a fucking stranger!”  
“He is not a stranger, you fucking…!”  
“Fine, then I’ll invite my friends too!”  
“He has no one,” Armie says, as he steps into the room, only to find his fiancée standing there, looking furious, another pair of shoes in her hands. “Do you want him to spend Thanksgiving on his own?”  
“I don’t fucking care. You’re already paying his rent, you don’t have to…”  
“Stop being a selfish brat!” Armie spits out, and he has to duck to miss the shoes that are being thrown across the room. “You have no idea what he’s been through, what…”  
“Then tell me.”  
“I can’t.”  
“Fuck you then.”  
“What is wrong with you?” Armie asks, and his fiancée nearly explodes with rage.  
“What is wrong with me?” she asks. “You meet this stranger, a fucking stripper, and all of the sudden you take him with you to England, you start paying his rent. He is here for family events, he… If he had been a woman…”  
“Liz…”  
“You refuse to tell me his story,” Elizabeth continues. “Can’t you see how fucked up this situation is?”  
“He’s my friend…”  
“Why?”  
“He just is.”  
“No, why,” Elizabeth repeats. “Why is he in our lives, Armie? What am I missing?”  
“Nothing,” Armie says, but he knows that there is more to this. That Timothée is more than just the boy he wants to help. “He is just…”  
“Your friend,” Elizabeth says, and Armie nods. “Yeah, so you keep saying.”  
“Liz…”  
“Forget it.”

“Thank you for inviting me,” Timothée says, when he and Elizabeth are in the kitchen, later that night. “It means a lot. I don’t have any family or friends here, so…”  
“May I ask you something?”  
“Of course.”  
“Is he having an affair?” Elizabeth asks, and Armie tries his best to keep quiet, to make sure they won’t hear him listening in on them, as he is standing by the door.  
“What? No!” Timothée says. “Why would you think that?”  
“It’s the only thing I can think of, that would make any sense,” Elizabeth explains. “Because why else would he be paying your rent, unless he is using your place to hide his girlfriend there.”  
“No,” the young man says. “No, you’ve got it all wrong. No…”  
“Then why? Why is he paying your rent? Why does he feel like he needs to help you, unless you’re helping him?”  
“I had to do some really bad things for money,” Timothée admits, “and Armie found out.”  
“Like what?” Elizabeth asks, and Armie can’t believe that she would ask the young man such a personal thing. He is about to step in, when he can hear Timothée’s voice.  
“I slept with men,” Timothée admits. “For money.”  
“You…”  
“Armie was scared that one of them would hurt me, so he offered to help me.”  
“I…”  
“Because he’s my friend, Elizabeth,” Timothée says, and Armie can’t help but smile. “He wanted me to be safe. He tried to do a good thing. He didn’t have an affair, he didn’t… He probably saved my life, because he’s a good guy.”  
“Yeah…,” Elizabeth says, and Armie can hear that she is embarrassed, and doesn’t know what else to say. He can’t help but smile, and when Timothée comes out of the kitchen, Armie sees a confident, satisfied smirk on his face.  
“Thank you,” Armie mouths, and Timothée winks, before sitting down at the table. Armie steps into the kitchen, only to find his fiancée standing there, looking upset.  
“Armie, I…”  
“Are you alright?”  
“He told me why you helped him…,” Elizabeth admits. “I’m sorry, I… I didn’t… I’m sorry.”  
“Will you let it rest now?”  
“Yes,” Elizabeth says, an embarrassed look on her face. “I’m sorry, Armie. I thought…”  
“I know what you thought,” Armie says, before grabbing the drinks, and leaving the kitchen.

“She hates me,” Timothée says, when he and Armie are sitting by the pool later that night. Elizabeth has already gone to bed, and it had been obvious that when she had announced her going to bed, she had expected Timothée to leave. But Armie had simply led him out into the backyard.  
“She doesn’t trust you. Or me.”  
“Should she?” the young man asks.  
“Trust you?”  
“Trust you,” Timothée asks, a small smirk forming on his lips.  
“I’m not sure,” Armie says, and he looks away, unable to hide the smile on his face.  
“Should I stay away?”  
“No.”  
“I feel like…”  
“What?”  
“I don’t want to ruin things for you,” Timothée says, and Armie looks back at him.  
“Why would you ruin things for me?”  
“You know why.”  
“What are you saying?” Armie asks, trying to make a joke out of this conversation, by adding a smile, but Timothée looks straight into his eyes, a serious look on his face. “Don’t do this, please.”  
“Are we just going to ignore this?” the young man asks, keeping his voice down, in case Elizabeth is still awake. “I know you…”  
“We can’t,” Armie interrupts him. “I can’t.”  
“I know. That’s why I left the club, why I… I don’t want anyone to get hurt,” he whispers, as he looks up at the sky.  
“I love her.”  
“I know,” Timothée says, as Armie wraps an arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer. “I know…”

-

“Spit it out.”  
“What?” Armie asks, as he looks up from the drink in his hand. He and Colin are at his place, having a drink, but Armie has been distracted ever since he had arrived.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Nothing.”  
“What’s her name?” Colin asks, and Armie can’t help but smile. “Is it Harriet?”  
“Harriet?” Armie laughs, just the thought of having an affair with his co-star making the chills run up and down his spine. “You’d think I’d sleep with Harriet?”  
“She’s…”  
“Horrible.”  
“Yeah,” Colin laughs. “She is, isn’t she?”  
“No, I’m not… there’s no…,” Armie tries, but he can’t find the rights words. “What if…”  
“What?”  
“It doesn’t matter.”  
“It’s him, isn’t it?” Colin asks, and Armie can feel his heart starting to beat faster. “Are you two…”  
“No,” he quickly says, but he can’t face his friend. He is too ashamed.  
“But you want to be with him?”  
“No,” Armie repeats, but he knows that there is nothing convincing about his denial.  
“What about Liz?” Colin asks. “Do you still want to be with her?”  
“Of course. I love her.”  
“Then stop seeing him,” Colin says, and Armie looks up at him, expecting to see anger, judgement. But he sees the worried look on his friend’s face, the fear, the pain.  
“I can’t…”  
“You can’t have them both, Armie. You have to choose. And if you want to have this life with Liz, you’re going to have to forget about him,” Colin says. “Because I see the look on your face when you talk about him, and I know that if you keep him in your life, you…”  
“I know,” Armie interrupts him, because he doesn’t need to hear the words. He already knows how this is going to end. He has known it all along.

-

“Merry Christmas,” Armie says, when he joins Timothée out in the backyard. Elizabeth had decided to give a big Christmas party for all of their family and friends, and it had even been her idea to invite Timothée, but the young man had been quiet all night, and every time Armie had tried to go over to him, he had seemed uncomfortable, so Armie had given up. But now most of his family members have left, and most of his friends are busy drinking and dancing, and he can’t be bothered with it. He’d rather have a quiet moment with his friend.  
“Merry Christmas,” Timothée says, flashing a small, uncomfortable smile.  
“You’ve been avoiding me.”  
“Your mother has been watching me all night,” Timothée admits. “She… I don’t want her to think that we…”  
“Did she say anything to you?”  
“No.”  
“What did she say?”  
“Nothing,” the young man quickly says, but Armie raises an eyebrow. “She just… you know… she offered me money.”  
“She… for fuck sake,” Armie spits out, and he is about to turn around, but Timothée grabs his arm and stops him.  
“I didn’t take it.”  
“I know you didn’t. But she…”  
“Is scared that I’m here to take advantage of you,” Timothée says, but Armie shakes his head. “She just wants me to leave because she wants what is best for you. She didn’t mean…”  
“She wants you to leave because she’s scared that we’re having an affair. She doesn’t care about me, she’s just scared that I’m…,” the actor begins, but he can’t finish his sentence. Can’t bring himself to say the word. “She’s just worried for her own fucking reputation.”  
“I don’t think…,” Timothée begins, but then he stops, and a nervous look appears on his face. So Armie turns around, and he finds his mother walking out into the yard.  
“What is going on here?” she asks.  
“You offered him money?”  
“I didn’t…”  
“What is wrong with you?” Armie spits out, before his mother gets a chance to explain herself. “Did you really think he was going to take it?”  
“Armie, I…”  
“He’s not going anywhere, mother.”  
“He doesn’t belong here,” his mother says, and Armie can almost feel his blood starting to boil. “He is a…”  
“Don’t you dare say another word about him.”  
“I don’t know how you’ve done it,” Armie’s mother says, as she looks at Timothée, an arrogant, cold smile on her face. “How you have found your way into my son’s life. Why he keeps you around, why…”  
“Because I love him, mother,” Armie says, and a deadly silence follows, which seems to last for minutes. Until Armie finally breaks it, his heart beating so fast, that he feels like he is about to fall over and die. But he tries to keep calm, tries not to show her how scared he is. “Did you hear what I said?”  
“You love him?” his mother asks, and Armie nods, before looking over at Timothée, who is looking at him with a small, nervous smile on his face.  
“I do.”  
“I see.”  
“You don’t,” Armie says, as he looks back at his mother. “Because you know nothing about love. About caring about another human being. You are cold and…”  
“Stop it,” his mother interrupts him. She opens her mouth to say something else, but then she simply turns around and leaves.  
“Are you okay?” Timothée asks, but Armie is still trying to process what has just happened. So the young man simply steps up to him and wraps his arms around him.  
“I can’t believe I just did that,” Armie says, when Timothée eventually lets go of him. “I said…”  
“I heard what you said.”  
“Yeah…”  
“Big words,” Timothée says, a shy smile on his face.  
“Shit…”  
“Want to go inside and see if she’s causing a scene?” Timothée suggests, and Armie can’t help but smile. He brushes a curl out of the young man’s face, his fingers lingering on his skin for just a moment, but then he nods.  
“Yeah,” he agrees, and they make their way over to the house, expecting Armie’s mother to be screaming and shouting. But she is quietly sitting on the sofa, having a drink, still looking upset, but not causing a scene at all. And even when Timothée grabs Armie’s hand, and pulls him into the crowd of people, to dance, she doesn’t say a word.


	5. Chapter 5

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/samanthadroppie/48071480792/)

“Do you remember Luca?”  
“No,” Timothée shrugs, as he sits down with Armie on the bed. Armie had shown up unannounced, and Timothée had been embarrassed because he hadn’t been able to offer him anything other than a glass of water. Armie had left, and a little while later he had come back with bags full of groceries. Timothée had refused to take them, but Armie had simply refused to leave. So the young man had had no choice but to accept his help. Again.  
“The director. Frank’s friend.”  
“Oh, the one you…”  
“The one who laughed at me.”  
“Yeah, I remember him,” Timothée laughs. “He thought you were handsome.”  
“Fuck off,” Armie laughs.  
“What about him?”  
“He offered me a part in his new movie.”  
“Really? See… it wasn’t that bad.”  
“It was.”  
“Yeah, it was,” Timothée laughs. “But that’s exciting. What’s it about?”  
“It about ehm… it’s a love story.”  
“And?”  
“It’s probably going to be shit,” Armie says, trying to avoid the young man’s eyes. Trying to hide how nervous he is about this movie. How excited.  
“What’s it about?”  
“You know…”  
“Armie,” Timothée laughs. “What are you hiding?”  
“It’s about two men,” Armie admits, still avoiding his friend’s eyes. But when he hears him laugh, he looks up at him. “It’s not funny.”  
“Your parents will…”  
“I know,” Armie says, trying to keep a straight face, but when Timothée bursts into laughter again, he can’t help but laugh. “Yeah, I don’t think they’ll go and see it.”  
“No? You’ve said yes, right?” Timothée asks. “You have to do it, just to… you know, tell them a big ‘fuck you’.”  
“And because I want to work with Luca.”  
“That too, but…”  
“And because it’s a great story?” Armie suggests, but Timothée shrugs. “Because I get to…”  
“I so wish I could be there when they find out,” the young man laughs, and Armie shakes his head, smiling.  
“You’re horrible.”  
“Does Elizabeth know?”  
“I haven’t told her yet.”  
“You told me before you told her?” Timothée laughs. “What is wrong with you, man? Go home. Tell her. Celebrate.”  
“I’ll tell her.”  
“When?”  
“Later,” Armie laughs, and Timothée just shakes his head, laughing at him.  
“Later?”  
“Later.”

-

“You’re okay with it, right?” Armie asks, as his fiancée starts pacing up and down the room.  
“Who is playing your partner?”  
“I’m not sure. I don’t think Luca knows yet. But does it matter?” Armie asks. Elizabeth shrugs, before turning to face him.  
“Are you okay with it?”  
“Yeah, I want to do this movie. I think it could really be a…”  
“Not the movie,” Elizabeth interrupts him. “Playing a gay man, having to kiss a man…”  
“It’s acting, it’s…”  
“I know, but there are plenty of men who wouldn’t be okay with it. Who don’t accept parts like that because they don’t feel comfortable with it, or because it scares them, or…”  
“Or?”  
“Or because they’re scared of what people will think of them.”  
“I don’t care about that,” Armie says, but a wave of nausea washes over him, when he remembers the look on his mother’s face, when she had caught him with Matt.  
“But you know what a part like this comes with, don’t you? What kind of questions you will have to answer, what…”  
“I know,” Armie says.  
“And you are okay with all of that?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Then I’m happy for you,” Elizabeth says, a worried look on her face.  
“Liz…”  
“Congratulations,” she says, before he can say more. “I think it will be great.”

-

“I found a job,” Timothée says, when he and Armie are in the car, on their way to the airport. Armie looks at him, and sees the nervous look on his face.  
“Not at the club?”  
“No.”  
“But?”  
“I have to walk dogs,” Timothée admits. “I know it’s not going to make enough money to pay my rent, so…”  
“Don’t worry about that, man,” Armie says, flashing him a quick smile, before focussing on the traffic again. “I’m just glad you’re not doing what you did before.”  
“Me too.”  
“So you’re not coming out to Italy then? You’ll be too busy working?” Armie asks, as they drive into the airport parking lot. He parks the car, before looking over at Timothée, who still hasn’t answered his question. “I can still get you a ticket.”  
“Don’t,” Timothée says, a serious look on his face. “Have you asked Elizabeth?”  
“Of course…”  
“Armie…”  
“No,” Armie admits. “She wouldn’t want to be out there anyway. I would be busy working, so…”  
“Ask her,” the young man says. “I think it would be good to have her out there with you. For both of you.”  
“I want…,” Armie begins, but then he stops himself.  
“What?”  
“I want you there.”  
“I know,” Timothée says, before letting out a sigh. “That’s why I’m telling you, ask Elizabeth. You don’t need me there, man. You need your…”  
“Fiancée,” Armie interrupts him, and a small smile forms on the young man’s lips.  
“Fiancée.”  
“I’m going to miss you, man.”  
“No, you won’t,” Timothée laughs, looking a little awkward. Armie reaches over, to give him a hug, but before he realises what he has done, he has pressed his lips against the young man’s lips. Timothée quickly pulls back, and he awkwardly laughs.  
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”  
“You should go, you’re going to miss your flight.”  
“Yeah…,” Armie says, still trying to process what has just happened. But when Timothée gets out of the car, he takes a deep breath, and he gets out as well. He half expects the young man to have run off and left. But he is getting his luggage out of the trunk for him, so Armie goes over to him, and helps him out. He wants to apologise again, or explain. But he also wishes for it all to go away. So he chooses to ignore it, and he simply flashes a small smile, when he hands over his keys to him.  
“Good luck, man,” Timothée says, and he opens his arms to give Armie a hug. The actor is grateful that Timothée is choosing to ignore what had just happened as well. But in a way he wishes he knew what the young man is thinking right now. Is he angry, hurt, upset? Will they still be friends when he gets back from Italy?

-

“What’s wrong?” Armie asks, when Luca walks into the room. He had expected things to be calm and quiet once he had arrived in Italy, but things had been hectic and chaotic. Someone had brought him to his apartment, and told him that there would be a meeting that afternoon. But only minutes later, he had been picked up by someone else, and in the car he had overheard several phone calls about an actor dropping out of the movie at the last minute. They were supposed to start shooting next week, so he can imagine the chaos that must be going on right now. And as the director sits down next to him, he prepares himself for the worst. He prepares himself to be told that there isn’t going to be a movie at all.  
“Armie, it’s so good to see you again!”  
“Yeah, you too,” Armie says, trying to sound happy and relaxed.  
“I have some bad news.”  
“I overheard some of it in the car,” Armie admits, and the director nods, as he looks up at a painting on the wall. “So what happens now? Who was it?”  
“We’re going to need to find someone else.”  
“Within a week?”  
“Sure.” Luca shrugs, and Armie can’t help but smile. “Do you know any good actors?”  
“Yeah, but…”  
“That friend of yours. What was his name?”  
“What friend?” Armie asks, because he has no idea who Luca means. He can’t think of anyone he has worked with recently who would suit a part in this movie.  
“The boy you were with in London.”  
“Timmy?” Armie laughs. “Oh, he’s not…”  
“He is not an actor?”  
“Well, he is, but… yeah, I guess he is…,” Armie says, not sure where this is going. “Why?”  
“Is he good?”  
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen him act. He… things haven’t worked out for him, so he has been doing other things.”  
“Other things?” Luca asks. “Other work?”  
“Yeah. He used to dance, now he walks people’s dogs,” the actor says, and Luca nods. “But he wants to be an actor.”  
“Can you give me his number?”  
“Sure,” Armie says, still not sure what is going on. Is Timothée going to be in this movie? Will he finally make it as an actor? But what will people do when they find out about his past? Will they have to tell Luca? But while all of these thoughts are running through his mind, he finds himself giving the young man’s number to Luca.

-

Armie has just spent a day riding around on his bicycle, discovering the town, and the surrounding villages, to see where they will be shooting the movie. He had forgotten his phone, and back home it would have stressed him out for sure, but he hadn’t even realised until late in the afternoon. He had been so relaxed, and things had been so quiet, so peaceful. For once in his life, people hadn’t expected things from him. He didn’t have to do anything. Be anything.  
But when he gets back to his apartment, he finds he has more than ten missed calls, all from Timothée. So he quickly calls him back, worried that something is wrong.  
“Armie?”  
“Hey man, what’s wrong?”  
“Nothing, I just…,” the young man begins, but Armie can tell that he is nervous.  
“Tell me. Are you hurt? Do I need to come back?”  
“No, Luca, he… a couple of days ago he called me.”  
“Yeah, he asked me for your number,” Armie says, and he can’t help but smile. “Did he tell you why?”  
“He made me audition.”  
“Over the phone?” Armie laughs.  
“Kind of… on FaceTime… but he ehm…”  
“Yeah?” Armie laughs. “Did you get the part?”  
“Yeah…”  
“Wow, that’s awesome, man. So when are you coming out here?” Armie asks, but a silence follows. He then realises that Timothée has hung up the phone, and he is about to call him back, when there is a knock on the door. He goes to open it, and finds the young man standing there, a sheepish grin on his face. “You bastard! How long have you been here?”  
“A couple of hours,” the young man says, as Armie lets him into his apartment. “I tried calling you, but…”  
“I forgot my phone. But… shit… how long will you be here for?”  
“You don’t know?”  
“What?” Armie laughs, but when he sees the guilty look on Timothée’s face, he can’t help but wonder. “What part did you…?”  
“Luca didn’t tell you?” Timothée asks, and Armie shakes his head. “I thought you knew, that’s why you gave him my number, because… He said…”  
“Timmy…”  
“I can go,” Timothée says, and Armie nods, realising what is going on. “I thought you knew, man.”  
“I thought it was just a small part. I told him you don’t even work as an actor. I didn’t think…”  
“He would offer me the biggest part in the movie?”  
“No,” Armie says, and he sits down on the couch. “Did you know, when you auditioned?”  
“No, I thought it was one of your pranks. Or some trick to get me out here. I didn’t even realise it was real until I got here,” Timothée admits. “I’m not even… I’m not… I can’t be an actor, not with what I’ve done.”  
“Did you tell Luca?”  
“No, of course not. But I’m not going to do this, Armie. I’m going to go home. This isn’t… I shouldn’t have come here, this is all…”  
“No,” Armie interrupts him. “You’re never going to get a chance like this again. If you don’t do this movie, you will regret it for the rest of your life.”  
“I don’t care, man. I can’t do this,” Timothée says, and he is about to leave, when his phone rings. He gets it out of his pocket, but then hands it over to Armie. Armie sees Luca’s name on the screen, and takes a deep breath before answering the phone.  
“Hey man.”  
“Armie?”  
“Yeah, Timmy is here. He’s just… he’s a little nervous. It’s his first movie, so…”  
“Tell him he has no reason to be nervous. He is perfect,” Luca says, and Armie can’t help but smile. “When I first saw you together in London, I knew I had found my Elio and Oliver, but…”  
“There’s something you should know.”  
“What?” Luca asks, and Armie looks up at Timothée, who is pacing up and down the room.  
“Timmy, he ehm… he has had to do some things for money, things that people might reveal about him once his name is out there. Once his face is out there.”  
“What things?” Luca asks. “Drugs?”  
“Not drugs,” Armie says. “He was a stripper,” he says, and he waits for a moment, to hear Luca’s response, but there is none. “and he had to sleep with men for money.”  
“I see,” Luca says, as Timothée sits down next to Armie, and grabs his hand. “May I speak to Timmy?”  
“Sure,” Armie says, and he hands over to phone to the young man, who takes it with a shaking hand. Armie squeezes his other hand, to show him support, as he watches tears appear in the young man’s eyes. He is terrified that Luca is telling him off, that he is telling him to go home. That he is crushing his dreams, his one chance of being in a movie. But then Timothée says ‘Thank you’, before hanging up the phone, before breaking down into tears. Armie wraps his arms around him, and holds him tight.  
“What did he say?” he asks, when he lets go of him.  
“He told me he wished I had told him, but that he doesn’t judge me,” Timothée says, as he wipes away a tear. “He still wants me to be in the movie, and if someone tells the press about what I did, then he will help me handle it.”  
“And what would you do if it was out there? If your parents found out?” Armie asks.  
“I will have to tell them,” Timothée says, and Armie nods. “What if they…,” he begins, before becoming too upset to continue.  
“They won’t hate you, man,” Armie says, as he puts his arms around him again. He kisses the top of his head, before continuing. “I’ll go with you when you tell them.”

“Armie?”  
“Mhm?”  
“You’ll have to tell Elizabeth,” Timothée says, and Armie nods, but he doesn’t say a word. “Are you sure you’re okay with me…”  
“I’m not sure, man,” Armie admits. “It’s going to be weird, making out with you, when…”  
“I know,” Timothée says. “If you want me to go, I will go. Just say…”  
“No,” Armie interrupts him, and he grabs his hand. “I’m glad you’re here. We’ll just have to find a way to make this work without it being too…”  
“Awkward?” Timothée suggests, and Armie can’t help but laugh. Because it’s already awkward, has been awkward for months. And the fact that they will have to act like they are in love, and they will have to kiss, and to have to somehow find a way to keep those things separate from their private lives, it will no doubt make things more awkward.  
“I should probably give Liz a call.”  
“Yeah.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been so bad at replying to your comments, and I am so sorry! Life has been a little crazy, and that's not really an excuse, but yeah. I do really appreciate seeing your really lovely comments, and it's not that I don't care!
> 
> So yeah, when I write stories, I don't write any chapters. I just write the whole thing, and then I divide it up into chapters. And when I saw your comments, I realised that it seemed like there was going to be some Elizabeth drama, and it got you all excited to see how she would react. And yeah, I haven't written any. Please don't hate me. I wrote this months ago, and I didn't want to go back and add any, because I've been so focussed on new stories, that if I were to go back to this now, I would probably just mess the whole thing up anyway. So I'm sorry! But I hope you like it anyway! xx

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/samanthadroppie/48071480792/)

They had started shooting the movie two weeks later than planned, so Timothée could familiarise himself with the project, and it had given him and Armie some time to be tourists, to have fun, and to hang out and spend some time together. They had also rehearsed many scenes together, and Armie had been surprised at the kind of actor Timothée had turned out to be. He had worked with all kinds of actors, but Timothée’s acting feels so natural, that it had thrown him off on several occasions.  
But they have been shooting for a few weeks now, and things have gone surprisingly well. Things had been a little awkward at first. Especially for Timothée, who wasn’t used to any of this. But after a few days, the set had seemed like a natural habitat to him, and Armie hadn’t been able to get the smile off his face as he had watched him walk around like this was what he had been doing all his life. Because he still remembers the vulnerable-looking boy he had met at the club, the bruised boy, and he is fully aware of what had caused the bruises. Knowing that Timothée is out here, finally living out his dream, it had made him feel such happiness, that any awkwardness between them had simply been pushed to the side.

But they have just found out that tomorrow they are shooting the scene where their characters first share a kiss. They had already gone through scenes that had left them feeling a little awkward after, but they had been able to laugh it off, or they had been able to go out for a drink after, and ignore it. But knowing that they will have to kiss, and knowing that there is an attraction between them, which they have been trying to ignore for months, and knowing that Armie had kissed Timothée before he had left for Italy, and they haven’t spoken about it, it had made things awkward. Armie had been avoiding Timothée all morning, but now that they are waiting around, waiting for everything to be set up for their first scene today, they can’t avoid each other any longer.  
“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Armie says, not knowing what else to say, and Timothée looks up at him. “This place.”  
“Yeah.”  
“About what happened, before I left…”  
“It doesn’t matter.”  
“It does,” Armie says, and the young man looks away, an uncomfortable look on his face. “I shouldn’t have done that.”  
“No, you shouldn’t have,” Timothée agrees, and a sharp sting goes through Armie’s stomach. “You don’t get it, do you?”  
“I…”  
“You only think about yourself,” the young man spits out. “You came back to see me, because you wanted to see me, because you wanted to help me, because it would make you feel better. We both know why you keep me around, but…”  
“That’s not…”  
“Have you ever thought about what it’s like for me?” Timothée asks, and Armie can feel his heart starting to beat faster, his ears buzzing. They have never argued before, but he can feel this turning into an argument. And there is nothing he can do to stop it. “About how I feel?”  
“Timmy, I…”  
“Do you even care?”  
“Of course I care,” Armie says, but he can see how hurt the young man is. “You know how much I care about you, man.”  
“Yeah…”  
“Timmy…,” Armie tries, as Timothée wants to leave, and he grabs his arm. But when he sees the fear in the young man’s eyes, probably remembering a time where men had grabbed his arm to hurt him, he quickly lets go. “I’m sorry.”  
“Whatever,” Timothée says, before walking off. Armie can feel his legs giving in, before sinking down to the ground. What does all of this even mean? What had Timothée being trying to say? Been trying to tell him? But before he can come up with an answer, Luca sits down next to him.  
“Trouble in paradise?”  
“Something like that,” Armie says, and he can’t help but smile. He knows that the director has been aware of the attraction between him and Timothée since day one, probably even since meeting them in London, but he hadn’t mentioned it once.  
“You should listen to him,” Luca says, as he looks over to Timothée, who is quietly sitting on the ground, looking up at the sky. “What he is saying…”  
“I think he…,” Armie begins, but then he stops himself.  
“You know what he is saying.”  
“Yeah,” Armie says, and he sighs. He looks over to the young man, and his heart skips a beat. He can’t help but smile, as he watches the sunlight shine down onto his face. “I know.”

“Hey man, come in,” Armie says, as he lets Timothée into his apartment later that night. After they had finished shooting today, they had both quickly left to go back to their apartments, and they hadn’t discussed their argument. But Armie hadn’t been able to sleep, so he had sent Timothée a text, hoping that he would still be awake as well. And within minutes, he had shown up at his door.  
“I know what you were trying to say,” Armie says, as they sit down on the couch, and he can see the young man’s face turning red. “I don’t know what to say, man, I…”  
“There is nothing to say, is there?” Timothée shrugs, looking down at his hands. “You just should have… you shouldn’t have just thought about yourself.”  
“You’re right. I knew you were trying to keep a distance between us to help me, but I didn’t realise that you…”  
“Because you didn’t care,” the young man mumbles, and Armie can’t help but smile.  
“Because you didn’t tell me, and because I’m an idiot. Of course I care, Timmy.”  
“Whatever…”  
“Come on, man,” Armie laughs, and he nudges him in the arm. “You know I care. And if I had known, I would have…”  
“What?” Timothée asks, as he looks up at him. “You would have what?”  
“I wouldn’t have kissed you. I would have… I don’t know,” Armie admits, and the young man flashes a smile as he shakes his head. “But I wish you would have told me.”  
“It doesn’t matter.”  
“Of course it matters. Especially if you’re upset over it. If you have feelings for me, then…”  
“I don’t,” Timothée says, a serious look on his face, and Armie looks at him for a moment, not sure what is going on. Has he misunderstood all of this? Has Timothée been lying to him? Has he been taking the piss? But when he sees the smile forming on the young man’s lips, he understands.  
“You bastard,” he laughs, and he wraps an arm around his shoulder, and pulls him into a hug. “Next time you’re upset, you tell me, yeah?”  
“I will.”  
“And Timmy?”  
“Mhm?” Timothée mumbles, as he wraps his arms around Armie’s waist, and closes his eyes, as he lays down his head on the older man’s chest.  
“Don’t you ever dare think that I don’t care. Because I…”  
“I know,” Timothée interrupts, and Armie can’t help but smile, as he looks down at him, before kissing the top of his head.

-

It’s the end of the shoot, and they are now in Bergamo. Everyone is fully aware of the fact that this will all be ending soon, and the relaxed, peaceful atmosphere seems to be changing. Little arguments seem to be starting every day, and Armie has gone out for a walk, just to get away from it all for just a moment.  
“Liz?” he asks, when she picks up the phone.  
“Armie? What’s wrong?”  
“Wrong? Nothing, why?”  
“It’s the middle of the night.”  
“Oh…,” Armie says, feeling stupid for not having thought about the time difference. He hasn’t spoken to his fiancée much over the last couple of weeks. Not because he wasn’t missing her, but because he didn’t want to be dragged out of his little bubble. The quiet, peaceful Italian bubble this movie had created for both him and Timothée. Away from everyone they knew, away from their past. Their pain.  
“How are things going?” Elizabeth asks.  
“It’s great. We’ve only got one more week to go, and then…”  
“I miss you,” Elizabeth interrupts him, and Armie sighs.  
“I miss you too.”  
“Have you spoken to your mother?”  
“No, why?”  
“She found out about Timothée being in the movie with you, and she made a big deal about it. She thinks you risked you career to give him this job, because he’s not…”  
“Luca gave him the job,” Armie says, and there is a silence. “I had nothing to do with it. And I am sick and tired of having to defend him, just because he…”  
“She just doesn’t want you to risk your whole career for someone you’ve only just met,” Elizabeth tries to explain, and Armie has to take a deep breath to not get too angry.  
“I’ve known him for what, a year? He’s not some random stranger, Liz. For fuck sake.”  
“I know. She really seems to dislike him.”  
“She hates him,” Armie says.  
“She does,” Elizabeth laughs uncomfortably. “I think it might be because he’s…”  
“What?”  
“Because she thinks he’s more into men than women? She keeps mentioning it, so… She seems to have a real issue with it.”  
“You have no idea,” Armie says, for just a moment wondering if he should tell her about Matt. But quickly telling himself to keep quiet. Because what if Elizabeth will judge him for it too?  
“So if we have a kid, and they turn out to be gay, she would…”  
“Disown them,” Armie interrupts her. “For sure. Both my parents would.”  
“Wow. I didn’t realise.”  
“Yeah. I’m not even sure if they will speak to me after this movie comes out,” Armie says, and a silence follows. “They are…,” he says, but before he can finish his sentence, he hears footsteps behind him, and he turns around. He finds Timothée standing there, an uncomfortable look on his face. “They are not the wonderful, nice people they make themselves out to be,” he continues.  
“But you still chose to do this movie?” Elizabeth asks. “Even though your parents might not speak to you anymore.”  
“This movie is going to be great, and Timmy is… he is amazing.”  
“He is?” Elizabeth asks, and Armie nods. He can’t help but smile when he sees the shy look on the young man’s face.  
“Yeah. And you tell my mother that he’s a great kisser too,” he adds, and both his fiancée and Timothée start laughing.  
“I will tell her that,” Elizabeth laughs, but Armie knows that she will do no such thing. “I’m glad you decided to do this movie.”  
“Yeah?”  
“You seem happy.”  
“I am,” Armie admits, as Timothée comes up to him.  
“I’m glad. But I can’t wait to see you again. I love you,” Elizabeth says.  
“I love you too,” Armie says, but there is a guilty feeling niggling away inside of him when he speaks those words. Even though he means them, he knows that something isn’t right. Hasn’t been right for months. Perhaps hasn’t been right ever since the beginning of their relationship.  
“Did your parents find out about the movie?” Timothée asks, and Armie nods, as they walk on. “What did they say?”  
“The same old shit. But I’m done with them. I’m done with trying to please them, with…”  
“No, you’re not,” Timothée laughs. Armie doesn’t understand, and he shoots him a questioning look.  
“You still want to please them, and be their perfect little boy.”  
“I’m here, aren’t I?”  
“Yeah, and you’re engaged to Elizabeth,” Timothée laughs, “Who has no idea what happened when you were younger. Who has no idea that you used to have a boyfriend. Because if you were to tell her, you would risk losing her, and that would mean disappointing your parents.”  
“I…”  
“You are terrified of them,” the young man says, and Armie stops walking. Timothée looks up at him, and he flashes a small smile. “You still want them to be proud of you, and to say ‘I love you’. But that means that you are…”  
“What?”  
“What happened with Matt?” Timothée asks. “You must have seen him, after your parents caught you.”  
“Yeah.”  
“So what happened?”  
“He avoided me,” Armie says, as they continue walking, mostly so he doesn’t have to face Timothée as he talks about Matt, because he can’t help but feel a little uncomfortable. “He was probably scared that my parents would call the police on him, or that they’d tell his parents.”  
“And you didn’t try to see him again?”  
“No, I was…”  
“Scared?” Timothée suggests, and Armie can’t help but smile, because he is right. “Would it really be so horrible if your parents aren’t in your life anymore? It seems to me like they are only holding you back. Like they keep your from living…”  
“Timmy,” Armie laughs, as he interrupts him. “You do realise what you are saying, right?”  
“What?”  
“You were the one who was dancing at a strip club, and doing what you were doing, just to not have to tell your parents you were not working as an actor. Because you were scared to disappoint them,” he laughs, and a shy smile forms on the young man’s lips.  
“I know, but…”  
“You don’t get to judge me,” Armie laughs, as he playfully nudges him in the arm. “Huh?”  
“True.”  
“But you are right. My life would have been very different if I had just stood up for myself, and if I had just told them I was in love with Matt,” Armie admits.  
“If you had just come out to them?”  
“I’m not…,” Armie quickly says, but he realises it’s an automatic response, almost like a defence mechanism, and when he realises, he stops himself from finishing his sentence.  
“Have you ever told anyone”  
“I told you, didn’t I?” Armie laughs, but it’s a nervous laugh. “Colin knows, I think. He knows about you.”  
“You know it’s not fair on Elizabeth, right?” Timothée asks, and Armie looks at him. “Keeping this from her.”  
“I really love her, man.”  
A long silence follows, until they arrive back at the set, where everything is being set up for the day. They quietly sit down, waiting until they are needed on set. But then Armie feels Timothée’s hand brush against his. He thinks it had happened by accident, so he ignores it. But then it happens again, and he feels Timothée’s little finger hook in his. It makes his heart beat so fast, that he actually struggles to try and steady his breath. But when, from the corner of his eye, he notices the shy smile on the young man’s face, it’s as though something inside of him falls into place. As though he has been keeping something inside of him locked up for years, and he has now finally found the key.

-

Armie has been feeling emotional since they had shot the scene of the ‘kiss of a lifetime’. It had been the final kiss shared between their characters, but that had also meant that it had been the final kiss that he would get to share with Timothée. Ever since his conversation with Timothée about his parents, he has been thinking more and more about what he wants out of life. About whether he is happy with his life or not. But the more he thinks about it, the more confused he becomes. The more emotional he becomes. Because he loves Elizabeth, and he knows that she is already planning their wedding. But when he is with Timothée, he feels things he has never felt before, things he knows he should be feeling for his fiancée. And when he kisses him, even when he is supposed to be in character, he wishes he could just stop the world and stay in the moment for the rest of eternity.

They have already shot their final scene together, but their characters still have a phone call with each other in the movie. And although it’s only Timothée’s character who will be onscreen, Luca had asked him to be on set for the scene, and he had asked him to be upstairs, to be on the other end of the phone, so Timothée could actually have a phone call with him. To make it more realistic.  
But as Armie sits upstairs, on his own, preparing himself for the moment he can make the call, it fully hits him that this is it. Once he is done here today, there will be no more scenes. No more new experiences, no more new memories to be made. This beautiful Italian bubble is about to be popped, his big summer romance about to end. It makes him feel sick to his stomach. And when he gets the sign to make the phone call, he struggles to push the buttons. His hands are shaking, and he nearly drops the phone.  
But then he hears the phone ringing downstairs, and Timothée answers it not much later. For just a moment, he forgets he is in character, but then he remembers, and he starts his dialogue. He can hear his voice shaking, but he knows that it doesn’t matter, because his voice will be re-recorded later. But as he hears himself tell Timothée that he is about to be married, as he hears himself break the young man’s heart, he realises just how true those words are. How this phone call could have been one between him and Timothée. And as it hits him, he can feel the tears starting to fall from his eyes.  
“I remember everything,” he whispers, trying to hide the fact that he is breaking down. But within a matter of seconds, he hears footsteps coming up the stairs. Timothée comes into the room, with tears in his eyes, a worried look on his face.  
“Come here,” he whispers, as he kneels down beside Armie, and wraps his arms around him. “I know what you’re thinking, man. But we are not… that is not us.”  
“I’m so sorry,” Armie sobs, clinging onto the younger man.  
“You have nothing to be sorry for.”  
“I have messed it all up…”  
“You have messed nothing up,” Timothée says, squeezing him tight. “You’ve got Elizabeth, you’ve got…”  
“I can’t do this.”  
“Look at me, man,” Timothée says, and he lets go of Armie. Armie looks up at him, tears still falling from his eyes, but when he sees the kindest, most loving look on the young man’s face, he can’t help but smile. “You’re just tired, and emotional because you haven’t been home for such a long time. You’re just…,” Timothée begins to say, but before he gets a chance to finish his sentence, Armie has kissed him. The young man carefully pushes him away though, and Armie quickly gets up and steps away from him.  
“I’m sorry, man, I…”  
“You’re just tired,” Timothée says, and he flashes a small smile. But Armie can see that he has hurt him. Again.


	7. Chapter 7

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/samanthadroppie/48071480792/)

It’s been a few weeks since the guys have gotten back from Italy, and they have been avoiding each other since. Armie isn’t sure if he is the one who has been avoiding Timothée, or if it is the other way around. But they haven’t seen each other once since coming back, and they have only spoken through texts. Armie wishes things would go back to normal, but he knows that he has messed that up.  
He has been thinking about things though, and he knows that he has to tell the truth to Elizabeth. She doesn’t deserve to be lied to. But he has been building up to this moment for days, and he keeps backing out, because he is too scared to lose her. To lose the life that they have together. To lose his family. Their approval. Their love.  
But he knows that he can’t put it off forever.  
“Do you remember what I told you, about my parents?” he asks, as he joins his fiancée out in the backyard. She looks up at him and raises an eyebrow.  
“You have told me so many things.”  
“About our future kid, if they are…”  
“Gay?”  
“Yeah,” Armie says, and Elizabeth sighs.  
“I had no idea they were so homophobic. Have they always been like this? Were you raised to think like that?”  
“I guess so,” the actor admits, as he looks down into the pool. “They always told me people like that were wrong. That they were less than us, less than our family.”  
“But you don’t agree.”  
“No, of course not,” Armie quickly says, and he can see the relieved look on Elizabeth’s face. “I ehm… I actually didn’t realise they would actually disown a family member, or hate them, until…,” he begins, but then he can feel his heart beating so fast, that he has to stop.  
“Until?” Elizabeth asks, but Armie can’t speak. Because how can he tell her about Matt? “Armie?”  
“I…,” Armie tries, but he can’t form a sentence, because all the words are turning into one big mush.  
“Are you gay?” Elizabeth asks, the words making the chills run up and down Armie’s spine.  
“I don’t know,” he admits, and he can hear her taking a deep breath, but he can’t face her, so he keeps staring into the water.  
“Are you…,” Elizabeth begins, but then she stops for a moment, before continuing. “What are you telling me? Have you been with men?”  
“Yeah,” Armie admits. “Once, when I was fifteen.”  
“Were you… was it… was it a one-time thing, or was it…,” Elizabeth asks, clearly trying to get her head around this. Armie finally looks up at her, and he can see the fear in her eyes.  
“I was in love with him,” he admits, and his fiancée nods. “but my parents caught us, and…”  
“That’s when you realised they wouldn’t accept it.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Was that when you decided to start dating women?” Elizabeth asks.  
“No. I didn’t decide… I never… Liz, you are the only woman I have ever been with. I love you,” Armie tries to explain, but he can see how hurt his fiancée his.  
“But you are gay, so…”  
“I didn’t say I was,” Armie quickly interrupts her.  
“Armie,” his fiancée says, and she grabs his hand. “I can accept it if you are, but if you lie to me about this, then…”  
“I love you.”  
“I know you do, but we can’t get married if you’re not sure about this. I’m not going to live the rest of my life wondering when will be the day you leave me because you want to be with a man,” Elizabeth says, and he squeezes her hand, as he looks down at the ring on her finger. “I can’t do that.”  
“I don’t want you to do that,” Armie says, before letting out a long sigh. Silence follows, until Elizabeth finally breaks it.  
“There is nothing wrong with you, you know,” she says, and Armie looks up at her. “Your parents had no right making you feel like you had to change. There is nothing wrong with you,” she repeats, as she brings a hand up to the side of his face. “You’re a good man, Armie.”  
“I love you,” he says, before giving her a kiss. She looks up at him, a sad look in her eyes. “What?”  
“Were you happy?” Elizabeth asks, and a feeling of such guilt washes over Armie, that he has to take a moment before he can answer.  
“I would have been happy to spend the rest of my life with you,” he says, and Elizabeth nods, as tears form in her eyes. “You would have made me so happy, Liz, you…”  
“No regrets?”  
“No regrets,” Armie says, and Elizabeth flashes a small smile. But then she gives him a kiss on the cheek, before getting up. Armie expects her to go into the house, to process what has just happened, so he looks back down at the water. But when he hears her voice, he looks up again.  
“Have there been others?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Men?”  
“No,” Armie says, “Just Matt. But I never… I would never cheat on you, Liz.”  
“Okay,” she says, before turning to leave the yard. But Armie knows he needs to tell her about Timothée, he can’t keep this from her. Especially not after the kindness she has just shown him.  
“Liz?”  
“Yeah?” she asks, as she turns to face him again, a scared look on her face.  
“I ehm…”  
“It’s Timmy, isn’t it?” Elizabeth asks, before Armie can even say the words. “That’s why you’ve told me now, because you’re in love with him.”  
“No, I…,” Armie says, but he knows it’s an instant response. His defence mechanism. So he stops himself, and tries again. “Yeah… I really like him.”  
“Do you want to be with him?”  
“Don’t do this, please.”  
“I need to know,” Elizabeth says. “Is this why you’ve been bringing him to family events? Were you going to be with him, and marry me to hide who you are?”  
“No,” Armie says, and he gets up and steps up to her. “Liz, I would never do that to you.”  
“So you and him…”  
“There is no me and him. We both have feelings for each other, but…”  
“I think you should go for it,” Elizabeth interrupts him, and for a moment, Armie thinks he must have misheard her. “You have wasted so much time, because of your parents. Don’t…”  
“I am not leaving you.”  
“But I am leaving you, Armie,” Elizabeth says, and she puts her hand on his arm. “We can’t get married, not when you are…,” she continues, but then she just sighs.  
“I’m so sorry.”  
“No,” she says. “Don’t you dare apologise for who you are.”  
“I should have told you, back when we first got together,” Armie says, and Elizabeth flashes a small smile.  
“Yeah, you should have. But we have had fun, haven’t we?”  
“Come here,” Armie whispers, as he wraps his arms around Elizabeth. He can tell that she is trying to stay strong, to not show how upset she is, but he can tell how hurt she is, how scared and devastated at the fact that her relationship has just fallen apart.  
The guilt he is feeling right now is enough to make him want to run away and never come back, but he knows he has to face what he has done. So there is no running away, and although he can’t change what is in the past, he can try to make up for it by being a better version of himself. One who doesn’t lie. Who doesn’t hide.

-

After their conversation, things had become a little uncomfortable. Elizabeth had tried her best to hide her pain, but Armie could see right through it, and he had caught himself trying to avoid her. So they had decided that it would be best if he would move out, so they wouldn’t have to see each other every day. But they will still have to tell their friends and family that they have ended their relationship, and they know the announcement will come with all kinds of questions. So Elizabeth had suggested they would keep it to themselves for now, for both their sakes.  
Armie has been packing up his things all day, but he is now heading out for dinner with Luca, who is in town for the weekend. He had almost said no when the director had invited him, but he knows that he can’t hide away forever. So he has put on his nice clothes, and he is actually excited to see Luca again. But when he enters the hotel, he gets anxious. Because what if Luca has also invited Timothée? They still haven’t seen each other since saying goodbye at the airport, and for just a moment, Armie considers turning around and leaving. But when Luca opens the door to his hotel room, and lets him in, Armie finds no one else in the room, and the table is set for just the two of them.  
“Armie!”  
Before Armie gets a chance to say anything, the director has wrapped his arms around him, and he doesn’t let go for the longest time.  
“Sit down,” Luca says, when he finally lets go, and Armie can’t help but laugh. “How have you been? How is Elizabeth?”  
“Oh, we ehm…,” Armie begins, but for a moment he isn’t sure if he should tell Luca, seeing as he and Elizabeth had decided not to tell people yet. But then he can hear himself say the words anyway. “We have decided to end our relationship.”  
“I am sorry to hear that.”  
“Thank you,” Armie says, and the director stares at him for a moment, before asking a question which Armie has been dreading for weeks. But there is no point in hiding things from Luca, or lying to him. Because Luca had seen right through him since day one.  
“What happened?”  
“You know what happened.”  
“Timmy?” Luca asks, and Armie nods, as he looks down at the table, too ashamed to face him. “Are you and him…”  
“No,” Armie quickly says. “I haven’t seen him since we got back.”  
“Why?”  
“I’m not sure.”  
“But you have ended your relationship to be with him?” Luca asks, and Armie can’t help but smile as he looks up at him. “That is what happened, yes?”  
“Not exactly. I told Liz I might be gay, and she… we, decided it would be better to end things now,” he explains, and the director nods.  
“And Timmy…?”  
“I had to tell her about him,” Armie says. “She deserves to know. But we are not…”  
“Why not?” Luca asks. “You like him, yes?”  
“Yeah. But I’m with… was with Liz, and we were supposed to get married, start a family…,” Armie tries to explain. “I love Timmy, but I don’t think I’m ready to…”  
“To?”  
“To be with him,” Armie admits.  
“Because he’s a man?”  
“Maybe.”  
“Because of his past?” Luca asks, and Armie looks away, to avoid the director’s eyes. “No one will find out what he used to do for money. I know he is scared they will, but those men, they are married, they have wives, kids, they are not going to tell on him. They have too much to lose.”  
“Yeah…”  
“Is that what you’re scared of? That people will find out? They will judge you for being with someone who used to do what he did?” Luca asks, and Armie looks up at him and shakes his head. “Do you judge him for it?”  
“No, of course not. I know why he did it, and I would never judge him for it, or think any less of him for it. I just…,” Armie begins, but then he struggles to find the right words. “I am scared for him. You can’t go through what he’s been through, without it coming back to mess you up.”  
“Don’t you think he could do with someone by his side, when that happens?”  
“Yeah, but I don’t think I can be that person,” Armie admits. “I can’t be what he needs me to be.”  
“Why not?” Luca asks, but Armie doesn’t know what to say. He just knows that he doesn’t feel like he is good enough for Timothée, and as much as he would love to be with him, he knows that he has already hurt him on several occasions, and the thought of hurting him again, or pushing him away, back into his old life, it scares the living daylights out of him.  
“He deserves someone better than me.”

-

“Hey man, how are you?” Timothée asks, when he picks up the phone. Armie can’t help but smile when he finally hears the young man’s voice again.  
“What are you doing today?”  
“I’m packing my bag.”  
“You’re leaving?” Armie asks, his stomach immediately in knots. He knows he should have called Timothée sooner, and a feeling of regret washes over him. “Where are you going?”  
“I’m just going back to my parents for a couple of days. To tell them.”  
“About…”  
“Before they find out from someone else,” Timothée says, and Armie can hear that he is nervous. More than nervous. He is terrified.  
“Stay where you are,” he says, and before the young man can say another word, he has already hung up the phone. He quickly gets up, grabs a bag, throws in some clothes, and within minutes, he is in his car, on his way to Timothée’s apartment.

“What are you doing here? I have to leave in…,” Timothée says, as he checks his phone. “Ten minutes.”  
“I’m going with you.”  
“But…”  
“I’m going with you,” Armie repeats, and Timothée flashes a grateful smile. “and Timmy?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I’ve missed you, man.”

-

“I thought you’d be staying at your parents’,” Armie says, when he closes the hotelroom door behind him. Timothée has already sat down on the bed, looking around the room with an uncomfortable look on his face.  
“There’s no room at their apartment. I can sleep on the couch, but…”  
“What happened to your old bedroom?” Armie asks.  
“They moved, after me and my sister moved out. The house was too expensive,” Timothée admits, and Armie feels embarrassed to have asked it. Growing up, he has never had to think about money, it had always just been there. And although he is older and wiser now, and he knows that not everyone grows up with all the things he has grown up with, he can’t help but feel a little embarrassed at the fact that he had assumed that Timothée’s parents would have a nice house, that they would have kept his old bedroom just the way it had always been. He had pictured it in his head, but only now does he realise that Timothée has never actually told him these things. He had just assumed. Wrongly.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“For what?” Timothée asks, a mischievous smile on his face. “Because I’m not a rich kid like you?”  
“No, I…,” Armie begins, but he can see that the young man is only teasing him, and he flashes a shy smile. “Do your parents know you’re coming?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Have you told them why?”  
“No, my mom gets nervous that I’m sick when I tell her I have to tell her something,” Timothée says. The image of the young man, with his sister, his mother, his father, it’s the kind of loving family Armie had always longed for, and he can’t help but smile.  
“When I tell my mom I have to tell her something, she just assumes I have fucked something up.”  
“Have you spoken to her since you got back?”  
“Oh yeah, she thinks I have just killed my career,” Armie laughs, trying to hide how hurt he is. Because he knew this was going to happen, so it shouldn’t hurt him anymore, should it?  
“So we won’t be seeing her at the premiere?”  
“We might. She might be doing her own little protest against it,” Armie laughs, before sitting down next to Timothée on the bed. He grabs his hand, and stares down at it.  
“What?”  
“I ehm… I’ve got something I have to tell you.”  
“About the movie?”  
“No,” Armie says, still staring down at Timothée’s hand, simply to avoid his eyes. “Me and Liz, we…”  
“Don’t.”  
“Timmy…”  
“Don’t.”  
“Okay.” Armie sighs, before letting go of his hand, and getting back up. He grabs his bag, and starts unpacking it in silence. Because what else is there to say?

“What if it comes out, about me…?”  
“Go to sleep, Timmy.”  
“People won’t go see the movie, they…”  
Armie turns to face Timothée, and he wants to tell him what Luca had said to him, that the men who had paid to sleep with him are married, they won’t tell anyone, because they are too scared to be caught out. But he knows that whatever he will say, it won’t take Timothée’s fear away.  
So he simple brushes the hair behind his ear, before pressing a kiss against his forehead.  
“I don’t want to ruin this for you,” the young man says. “I shouldn’t have done it, I should have just…”  
“Goodnight, Timmy.”  
“I mean it, Armie!”  
Armie wraps his arms around him, and pulls him into a tight hug, and at first, Timothée seems a little hesitant, but then he lets himself be held, and he closes his eyes.  
“I’m scared,” he whispers.  
“I know. But we’re in this together.”


	8. Chapter 8

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/samanthadroppie/48071480792/)

Even though Armie had been an unexpected guest, Timothée’s parents had welcomed him with open arms, and they had treated him as though they had known him for years. They had sat him down, and given him the largest piece of cake, before telling him all about Timothée when he had been younger, completely ignoring the fact that their son had grown redder with every story.  
“Ehm… mom?”  
“Yes?” Timothée’s mother asks, just as she is about to start telling Armie another embarrassing story.  
“I have to tell you and dad something.”  
“Of course. Sorry, me and my big mouth. I’m sorry, Armie, you must think…”  
“Mom, please,” Timothée says, and his mother realises how serious it is, so she keeps quiet. Armie can see the worried look on her face, as she grabs her husband’s hand.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“I have been lying to you,” Timothée starts to explain, but for a moment or two, he doesn’t say another word, so his parents only grow more confused, and Armie can see the panic on their faces grow. “About being an actor.”  
“You mean…”  
“I did go out there, to become an actor, and I did do a movie. You saw it, but… I didn’t get any other work after that,” the young man explains. “So I had to find a job, to pay my rent.”  
“What about all the movies you made? They will still be released, won’t they?” his mother asks, still confused as to what her son is telling her, or perhaps she is in denial.  
“There were no other movies. I made it up,” Timothée admits, and his mother starts nodding, while his father just stares at him, taking the news in. Little do they know that this is only the beginning. “But I did work, I…” Timothée looks up at Armie, nothing but panic in his eyes, and all Armie wants to do is tell his parents for him, so he won’t have to. But he can’t. This is something he has to do himself. “I got a job, dancing at a club.”  
“Dancing?” his mother asks. “As in… something like theatre? Cabaret?”  
“No, mom. I mean dancing for money.”  
“A stripper?” his father asks, and Timothée nods, looking down at his hands. “Why in the world did you…”  
“Dad, please, I…”  
“You could have come home, Timothée! You could have asked us for money, we would have…”  
“I was embarrassed.”  
“But not too embarrassed to do that?” Timothée’s father asks. “You are moving back home, and you are not doing that anymore. I don’t care how old…”  
“I quit,” Timothée interrupts his father. “Months ago. But… and I know you are going to hate me, but…”  
“Timothée, what have you done?” his mother asks, already struggling to hold back her tears. “It’s not drugs, is it? What have you gotten yourself into?”  
“It’s not drugs,” Timothée says, looking down at his hands, too ashamed to face his parents. Armie can see that he is struggling to steady his breath, and his instincts tell him to take his hand, put an arm around him, try to comfort him. But he can’t, not now, not here. So he keeps to himself, and he keeps quiet. His heart beating out of his chest, trying to prepare himself for what is coming next.  
“Tim…”  
“I needed more money, or I would have ended up on the street,” Timothée begins to explain. “and some guys at the club knew a way to make money, so…”  
“What did you do?” his mother asks, but by the look on her face, Armie can tell that she already knows what he is trying to say. “Please tell me you didn’t…”  
“I had to, mom, I… I had to,” Timothée says, and he looks up, tears falling from his eyes. “But I’m not doing that anymore, Armie, he…”  
“Are you trying to say that you…,” his father begins, but then he looks at his wife, who is quietly crying, and staring out of the window now. “Did you walk the streets?”  
“No! I… yeah, but… it wasn’t like that. I never walked the streets, or… I met them at the club, and then we…,” Timothée tries to explain, but when his father gets up, and walks up to him, he keeps quiet, and he flinches when his father towers over him. His father notices it, and Armie assumes he had only come over to tell his son off, or maybe even to give him a hug. But seeing his son flinch, looking terrified, so clearly afraid to be beaten, it makes the man break down. Tears start falling from his eyes, and he has to leave the room.  
“Mom, I…”  
“Why didn’t you just come home?”  
“I wanted you to be proud of me.”  
“So you lied to us? You risked your life to…” Timothée’s mother can’t get herself to say the words, and she looks back out of the window.  
“Mom…”  
“I think maybe it’s best if we leave. Give your parents some time to take this in, yeah?” Armie suggests. “We’ll come back tomorrow?”  
“Mom, please!”  
“Let’s go,” Armie says, and he gets up. Timothée quietly follows him, but before leaving the apartment, he looks back, hoping his parents will be there, but they haven’t followed him. So they leave the apartment, and get back into their rental car. But as soon as they have gotten in, Timothée breaks down.  
“They hate me.”  
“They don’t hate you,” Armie says, as he wraps his arms around him. “They just need some time to take it all in, to get their heads around it, to…”  
“I only wanted to make them proud.”  
“They are still proud of you, Timmy. Just give them time.”

“I don’t think I can do it.”  
“What?”  
“The movie,” Timothée says. They are in bed, but after today, neither of them can sleep. “If it comes out, about what I’ve done… I can’t do that to my parents.”  
“They already know.”  
“But when the rest of my family finds out, it will kill them.”  
“Then we’ll just have to make sure no one finds out,” Armie says. “If someone wants to sell a story, we’ll pay them off, or…”  
“I don’t want to live in fear, because…”  
“I used to be like that. I was terrified Matt would tell people about us. Every day I checked the internet to see if there were stories about me being… whatever people would make of it. But you have to let go of that. You have a past, Timmy, and it made you who you are today. Even if it does come out one day, just try to hold your head up high and…”  
“Says you?” Timothée asks, a shy smile on his face. “You’re still engaged to Liz.”  
“I’m not.”  
“To the outside world you are.”  
“Because when it comes out that we’re not together anymore, people will want to know why,” Armie explains. “I don’t mind people asking. I will ignore it, but Liz… she’s hurt. I don’t want her to have to deal with it. Not while she’s still going through it.”  
“What did you tell her?”  
“I told her about Matt.”  
“And?”  
“She asked me if I’m gay.”  
“Are you?” Timothée asks, but Armie just shrugs. “What did you say when she asked?”  
“That I don’t know.” He sighs, before looking up at the ceiling. “I was still going to be with her, I was going to marry her, but… I can’t put her through that.”  
“So it’s officially over?”  
“I’ve moved out already.”  
“Do you regret telling her?” Timothée asks, and Armie turns to face him. He can’t help but smile, when he sees the young man, that beautiful boy he had met all those months ago. Just seeing him still makes his heart skip a beat.  
“I don’t.”

\---

Armie is still half asleep, when the buzzing of his phone wakes him up. For a moment he doesn’t remember where he is, until he finds Timothée in bed next to him, still fast asleep. He remembers what had happened yesterday, and a feeling of dread washes over him, because he knows they will have to go back to see Timothée’s parents today.  
He grabs his phone, and finds a message from Luca. At first he wants to ignore it, because what if it’s bad news about the movie? He can’t deal with that, not on top of his separation from Elizabeth, and Timothée having to tell his parents about what he has done. But more importantly, he doesn’t think Timothée will be able to handle any more bad news.  
But when he sees Timothée’s phone lighting up as well, he knows he will have to face up to it, because more likely than not, the minute the young man wakes up, he will see the message himself. So he takes a deep breath, and opens the message.  
But he has to laugh at himself, when he realises Luca is only letting them know that the movie, which before now had been a secret project, and which hadn’t been announced yet, will be announced soon. It’s no bad news, not at all. But his heart skips a beat, when he realises that this movie, this project, which had felt so small, so delicate, will be out in the open soon. They had been in their own Italian bubble while making it, and it had felt like his own summer romance, but once they had gotten back home, it had felt like nothing more than a memory. It had almost felt like a dream, like it hadn’t truly happened. Knowing that soon it won’t be just theirs anymore, it makes him feel an upset, which he can’t quite put to words.

“What do you think I should say to them?”  
“Just tell them you’re sorry, and explain to them that you’re not doing it anymore. Tell them about the movie, that…”  
“But that will give them hope,” Timothée says, as they make their way over to his parents’ apartment. “If they know I’ve done a movie, they will think I’m working as an actor.”  
“But you are.”  
“I’m not. Luca only gave me the job because…”  
“Because what?” Armie asks, and he stops him.  
“He didn’t even know me, Armie,” Timothée says, looking down at his feet. “I know you probably asked him to…”  
“I didn’t do anything. He asked me for your number, because he saw something in you when he met you,” Armie explains. “He thought you looked the part, so…”  
“Because I looked the part,” Timothée repeats, his voice so bitter, that Armie feels a sharp sting going through his entire body.  
“He didn’t… Timmy, you didn’t get the part because of your looks, or because he wants to sleep with you. If you had fucked up your audition, he would’ve gone on to find someone else to play Elio. But he believed in you, and he knew you could do it.”  
“I don’t want to give them hope again,” Timothée says, finally looking up at Armie again. “If they think I’m an actor…”  
“You are.”  
“I’m not.”  
“Timmy,” Armie says, before putting his hand on the young man’s arm. “Just tell them the truth. No more lies.”  
Timothée gives a small nod, but he looks terrified, and Armie can see that he is shaking. So he gives him a hug, and he doesn’t let go of him for the longest time, knowing that once he lets go, they will have to go into the apartment.  
But eventually he lets go, and they walk on to the apartment, where they find Timothée’s parents waiting for them in the living room. They both look pale, exhausted, like they haven’t slept all night. There is no coffee this time, no cake, and Timothée’s mother is staring out of the window, unable to face her son.  
“Mom, I…”  
“Do you have any idea how much pain this has caused your mother?” Timothée’s father asks, and the young man nods. “We have always told you and your sister that no matter what, we are here for you. If you need help, you come to us. You should have come home, Timothée.”  
“I know.”  
“You could have been murdered, or you could have been raped.”  
“Yeah…”  
“Did they ever hurt you?” Timothée’s mother asks, as she finally looks at him.  
“No, never,” Timothée lies, and Armie can tell that his father knows better. But he will let his son lie, for his wife’s sake. “And I’ve stopped doing it months ago, because…”  
“If something would have happened to you, Tim…,” his mother says, as tears begin to fall from her eyes.  
“I’m sorry.”  
“What do you do for money now?” Timothée’s father asks, and the young man looks at him.  
“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I stopped working, because Armie is helping me out. He knew I needed help, and he didn’t want me to do that anymore, so he started paying my rent, and he…”  
“So you…,” Timothée’s father begins, but by the look on his face, Armie can tell that he doesn’t trust him.  
“It’s not like that, sir. I’m not paying him for anything, I’m not a client, or… I’m his friend, and I wanted him to be safe. That is all,” Armie explains, but the man still has a distrustful look on his face.  
“I know who you are. Someone like you, how would you meet a…”  
“Someone like me,” Timothée says. He looks ashamed, and vulnerable, and he looks down at the floor, unable to face his parents.  
“My friends and I, we went to the club where Timothée was working,” Armie explains. “Not because we… it was a joke, it started out as a joke, but… I noticed your son, and I went back to talk to him, and we became friends.”  
“A joke?”  
“My friend wanted to watch women dance, as a joke we took him to watch men dance,” Armie explains, and as he says the words, he feels like he is a teenager again. He feels young, embarrassed, he feels like he is about to be told off. But he tries to keep his head up, as Timothée’s father stares him down, an angry look on his face. “I have never taken advantage of your son, sir. I have only ever wanted to help him, so…”  
“So you’re paying his rent.”  
“Yes.”  
“And what do you want him to do in return?”  
“Nothing,” Armie quickly says. “I care about your son, and…”  
“How does your fiancée feel about all of this, mister Hammer?” Timothée’s mother asks. Hearing her say these words, it hurts, because yesterday, he had been Armie, just Armie. Timothée had introduced him as his friend, Armie. Knowing that they know who he is, the actor Armie Hammer, with the fiancée, it hurts. It makes him feel like he is being judged.  
“Elizabeth knows I am friends with your son.”  
“Mom, we’re not just friends,” Timothée says, finally looking up, and a long, tense silence follows. It seems like no one knows what to say, especially not Armie, who is sure that everyone can hear his heartbeat right now. But then Timothée breaks the silence, and they all realise what he had been trying to say. “We’re also working together.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“We made a movie together.”  
“But you said…”  
“I know, but this one is real,” Timothée says, and he gets his phone out of his pocket. He looks up a picture of him an Armie, which was taken when they were in Italy, and when Armie sees it, sees them dressed as their characters, he can’t help but smile.  
“Why didn’t you tell us?” Timothée’s mother asks, as her son hands her his phone, and she looks down at the picture. “When is this… are you sure this is…?”  
“It’s real, mom. I didn’t even know I was going to be in it, but then someone dropped out at the last minute, and the director, he…”  
“And you are what… you are in the background, you are…?” Timothée’s father asks, and Armie can see the worried look on his face.  
“No. Armie and I, we are…,” Timothée begins, but then he looks at Armie, and he slightly shakes his head. He looks nervous, scared. But he can’t back out now.  
“We are playing the main characters,” Armie explains. “The movie will actually be announced soon.”  
“What is it called?”  
“Call Me By Your Name,” Armie says, unable to hide the shy smile on his face.  
“This is a real movie, this isn’t some…”  
“It is real, sir. And Timmy, he… he is an amazing actor, he has got something so special, he…”  
“So what you did…”  
“I’m never doing that again,” Timothée says, and his mother nods.  
“Will you promise me?”  
“I promise,” Timothée says, but then he looks back down at his feet, and Armie can tell that he is getting nervous again. “But I ehm… when it’s announced, and my name is out there, and my face…”  
“You’re scared someone is going to talk.”  
“Yeah. And I am so sorry if it comes out. If the family hears, or…”  
“If it gets to that, we’ll just…” Timothée’s father shrugs. “We’ll deal with it then.”  
“What matters is that you are safe. That you’re not…” Timothée’s mother begins, but then tears start falling from her eyes again, and her husband grabs her hand.  
“If you’re in trouble, you come to us. Do you hear me?”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“You don’t say you’re sorry, Tim. Saying sorry is easy,” his father says, a stern look on his face, his wife’s hand still in his. “You’re going to have to show it to us. You prove you’re sorry.”  
“I know…”  
“But I am proud of you for getting this part, and I can’t wait to see this… Call It…”  
“Call Me By Your Name,” Timothée says, and he finally looks up. His face is flushed, and he has a shy smile on his face. “It’s good, dad, it’s…,” he begins, but then he looks at Armie, and he stops talking.  
“So what’s it about?” his mother asks.  
“Ehm…”  
“What?” his mother laughs. “I’m sure after what you’ve just told us, it can’t be that bad,” she says, trying to make light of the situation, trying to hide the pain, but failing miserably. Still, Armie praises her for trying.  
“I play Elio, and ehm…”  
“We fall in love in the movie,” Armie explains, to break the awkwardness, and because if he has to wait until Timothée has said the words, they will still be here by tonight.  
“With each other?”  
“Yeah…”  
“Oh wow,” Timothée’s mother laughs.  
“It’s based on a book,” Timothée quickly says. “You should read it. It’s good.”  
“I will.”

“Have you even read the book?” Armie laughs, when they get into the car, after a very awkward conversation with Timothée’s parents. They had all been very aware of the fact that this Hollywood actor had not only helped out their son, but he was now also his co-star, and to add to that, they have also made out on camera. It had made things very awkward, especially after, only minutes before, his father had assumed that Armie had been one of Timothée’s clients. So they had tried to make small talk, but they had then quickly made an excuse, and had said goodbye to his parents, before making their way out of the apartment.  
“No, I haven’t. Why?”  
“Your mom does not want to read it. It’s…”  
“I didn’t know what to say!”  
“Well… it’ll be an interesting read for her,” Armie laughs, and the young man buries his face in his hands. “As interesting as watching you fuck a peach.”  
“Shoot me now, please.”  
“Nah. I prefer to keep you around for just a little longer,” Armie says, and Timothée looks up at him. “I’m proud of you, for telling them.”  
“It feels good.”  
“Yeah?”  
“No,” Timothée laughs. “But it feels better than hiding it from them.”  
“I’m glad,” Armie says, as he brushes a curl out of the young man’s face. All he wants to do is kiss him, but he remembers kissing him, before he had left for Italy, and Timothée had told him that he shouldn’t have done it. It had eventually even led to an argument. So he sighs, before starting the car, and driving off.  
“You should tell your parents.”  
“What?”  
“That you’re gay.”  
“I don’t even know if I am,” Armie laughs. “And I think they already know that I’m not straight, so…”  
“I think you’ll feel better once you’ve sat them down, and you’ve told them.”  
“I might not even be gay,” Armie laughs, but saying the words, it doesn’t feel right. And he can tell that the young man is staring at him. “What?”  
“Tell them.”  
“I’m not telling them anything.”  
“You will have to, one day,” Timothée says. “When you settle down with someone. When you’re starting a family.”  
“Is that what you see for me in my future?”  
“Yeah, of course.”  
“Interesting.”  
“Do you think you’ll ever go back to Liz?”  
“No.”  
“But you think you might date another woman?” Timothée asks, and Armie looks at him, ever so quickly, before looking back at the traffic on the road ahead of him. He thinks about it for a moment, but then he realises that the only woman he could ever see himself settling down with, was Elizabeth. But he can’t see himself getting back together with her, not after what he told her. It wouldn’t be fair on her.  
“No. I can’t.” He sighs. “And yeah, I know what that means, but I don’t want to hear it. So shut up.”  
“I wasn’t going to say anything,” the young man laughs.  
“Yeah, you were.”  
“I wasn’t,” Timothée laughs, and Armie quickly glances over to him again. He sees the big smile on his face, the red on his cheeks, and his heart skips a beat. “What?”  
“You know I love you, right?”  
“I know,” Timothée says, giving a small nod, before turning to stare out of the window.


	9. Chapter 9

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/samanthadroppie/48071480792/)

“Home sweet home,” Timothée says, when they walk into his apartment. It is as empty, as bare, as it has always been, and Armie can’t help but wonder when this will change. They had only gotten a small amount of money for the movie, because it had been such a small project, but it should have been enough to turn the apartment into a real home. So if Timothée hasn’t spent it on rent, or groceries, or his apartment, then where did the money go?  
“Do you like it here?”  
“It’s fine.”  
“Why don’t you…,” Armie begins, but when he opens the fridge, and finds it empty, he sighs. “What happened to the money?”  
“Are you accusing me of something?”  
“No, of course not. But there is no food, no… look at this place. You have money now, Timmy. You shouldn’t be living like this,” Armie says, and Timothée looks down at his feet, an embarrassed look on his face. “You have to look after yourself.”  
“I am saving it, for when… you know…”  
“For what?”  
“For when this ends.”  
“There will be more movies,” Armie says, but then he realises that that is not what the young man means. “You think I’m going to stop helping you out?”  
“Yeah. You’ve got your own things, and…”  
“How can I prove to you that I’m not going anywhere?” Armie asks, but Timothée just shrugs. “You are not my charity project, Timmy. You’re my friend. You are more than that, you are…”  
“Don’t.”  
“I love you, man.”  
“I can’t.”  
“Move in with me,” Armie says, and although he hadn’t been planning on saying the words, as soon as the words have left his mouth, a big smile forms on his lips.  
“What?”  
“I mean it. Come live with me.”  
“No,” Timothée says, before laughing. “You’re…”  
“You think I’m taking the piss?”  
“Yeah…”  
“You wait here, yeah?” Armie says, and without saying another word, he leaves the apartment, and he gets into his car.

It’s already getting dark, when Armie knocks on the door of Timothée’s apartment. It takes a moment, but when the door opens, and the young man appears, a sheepish grin on his face, he steps into the apartment.  
“You came back then?”  
“I told you I would, didn’t I?” Armie laughs. “I had to get a key made.”  
“A…”  
“Your key,” Armie says, as he gets the key out of his pocket, and hands it over to Timothée. “If you don’t want to move in, that’s fine. But think of it as your second home. If you want to stay there, then…,” he rambles, getting more nervous with every word, because Timothée is just staring down at the key, a blank look on his face.  
“You trust me with the key to your apartment?”  
“Of course,” Armie says. “And I would love for you to move in. I’m not asking for anything in return. I don’t expect you to…” He sighs. “I just want to hang out with you, and I would feel more comfortable, being able to keep an eye on you.”  
“I can manage on my own just fine,” Timothée says, looking down at his feet.  
“Then do it as a favour. Do it for me.”  
“This doesn’t mean that we’re…”  
“I know.”  
“Are you sure?” Timothée asks, finally looking up at Armie again, who can’t help but laugh.  
“Yeah, I’m sure.”

\---

Timothée had been in a movie before, but it had been a non-speaking part, and after filming, he had been no part of any of the rest of it. He hadn’t taken part in any of the promotion, and he hadn’t even gotten an invitation to the premiere. But being a part of a movie, had put his name on the internet, and when Armie had looked him up, months ago, he had found screenshots from his scenes in the movie. There had even been a few social media pictures, uploaded by friends or family. But there had been nothing about his work at the club, or his other work. It had been a relief, because he knew that people would be looking him up, to find out about his previous work, once Call Me By Your Name would be announced.  
But now that they are doing a photo shoot, to take the pictures which will go together with the press release for the movie, Armie can tell that Timothée is nervous.  
“They won’t find out,” he says, keeping his voice down so the other won’t hear.  
“I feel like I’m about to fuck it all up for everyone,” the young man admits. “If someone talks, Luca’s project is…”  
“Timmy,” Armie interrupts him, and he puts his hands on the younger man’s arms. “No one is going to talk. This is… this is a new beginning, alright? That part of your life is in the past.”  
“I hope so.”  
“It is,” Armie reassures him, even though he can’t deny that he is just as scared that Timothée’s past will come back to haunt him. Maybe not even in the way that Timothée thinks it will. But Armie knows that one day it will hit him, just what he has been through, and what he has done, what could have happened. And when it hits him, who knows what will happen? All Armie knows, is that he has to be there for him when that moment comes.

“It doesn’t feel real,” Timothée says, as he is staring down at the picture on his phone. After the photo shoot, they had been shown some of the pictures. They had even been sent some. And although these are the unedited ones, and they will be looking very different by the time anyone else will see them, Armie can tell that the young man is shocked to see himself like this.  
“That’s not what you see when you look in the mirror?”  
“No,” Timothée laughs, but Armie can tell that it is nervous, uncomfortable laughter. “This is… this doesn’t look like me. This is some…”  
“Yeah, that looks exactly like you,” Armie laughs. “Except for that the guy in the picture has better clothes.”  
“Fuck you,” Timothée laughs, as Armie sticks his finger through a hole in the young man’s t-shirt.  
“You know you can afford to buy new things, right?”  
“I guess…”  
“Maybe some leather pants…,” Armie suggests, trying to keep a straight face. He is referring to the night they had met, back when Timothée had been a dancer, and he had worn a leather outfit. It takes a moment, but then the young man realises, and his face turns a dark shade of red. “They looked pretty good on you.”  
“Oh, really, mister Hammer?” Timothée laughs. “Here I was, thinking you had only come back because you wanted to be my friend.”  
“Screw you,” Armie laughs, as he wraps his arms around Timothée. The younger man snuggles up to him, as Armie kisses the top of his head. “I knew I wanted to be wi…”  
“Don’t.”  
“We’re going to have to talk about it sooner or later.”  
“I can’t.”

\---

“How are things going between you and Timothée?” Elizabeth asks, as she hands Armie a cup of coffee, before sitting down next to him. “How is it, living together?”  
“I’m not sure.”  
“Oh… I thought you would be a little more excited than that. Are your parents giving you trouble?”  
“I haven’t told them,” Armie says.  
“Do they know we’re not together anymore?”  
“No. I haven’t spoken to them since we last saw them,” Armie admits. There had been an argument about the movie when they had visited them, so Armie and Elizabeth had left after that. It has been months now, so Armie knows that he could have picked up the phone to try and talk it out, but what’s the point?  
“You’ll have to tell them. People are going to find out about us, so…”  
“I know.”  
“Why are you so scared of them?” Elizabeth asks. “I know they’re your parents, but you can’t allow them to make you feel like you’re… wrong, or…”  
“If they find out we’re not together anymore, and I’m living with Timmy…” Armie sighs.  
“There is nothing wrong with you, Armie.”  
“I know,” Armie says, but he can’t stop seeing his mother’s face, after she had caught him together with Matt. He can’t stop thinking about how things had changed after. How she had stopped loving him.  
“You deserve to be happy, and if Timothée makes you happy, then…,” Elizabeth says, as she grabs his hand. “Don’t let your parents ruin this for you.”  
“It’s not just them. He hasn’t been himself ever since they announced the movie. He thinks people are going to talk about what he used to do, and…”  
“I don’t think people will. No offence, but this movie is not big enough for him to…”  
“No one will pay for a story about him?” Armie suggests, and his ex nods. “That’s what I thought, but… What if this movie does get big?”  
“It is just a small project, isn’t it? Just some…”  
“It has happened before. These things can blow up, and before you know it, his name is all over the internet. And you know people will do anything for money. I know his clients from when he… you know… those guys won’t talk, because there’s too much at stake. But the guys from the club might talk,” Armie explains.  
“Even if it comes out that he used to work there, is it really so bad? People have done much worse, and they still get work.”  
“I don’t think he cares about himself, or about future jobs even. He cares about what it will do to his parents, his sister… He’s scared to ruin things for the movie, for Luca…”  
“For you,” Elizabeth suggests, and Armie nods. “I don’t think it will ruin anything. Even if people find out, I don’t think it will matter. People don’t know him yet, so it’s not like he has a reputation to live up to. If he starts out with people already knowing, and there being no secrets, then… he can just take it in his stride, and be proud of where he is today. Right?”  
“Try telling him that.”  
“Besides, there is nothing wrong with the work he did,” Elizabeth says, and Armie raises an eyebrow. “Well, the dancing part. It’s just work.”  
“You judged him for it.”  
“I was insecure,” Elizabeth admits. “And jealous, because you were so invested in him. But he’s a good person, an honest person. And he didn’t deserve my…”  
“Being a bitch?”  
“Yeah, alright,” Elizabeth laughs. “But nowadays, I think people are more open to that kind of thing. People are less judgmental. So I don’t think he has anything to worry about.”  
“I hope so.”

\---

Armie has been asleep for hours, but the sound of glass breaking wakes him up. His first thought is that someone is breaking in, which is putting Timothée in danger. So he gets out of bed, runs out of his room, and without thinking of his own safety, he runs into the living area. The adrenaline is rushing through his body, and he is preparing himself for the worst. And when he finds someone in the kitchen, kneeling down on the floor, he raises his fist, ready to attack.  
But then the figure turns around, a terrified look on his face, when he finds Armie lurching over him, his fist raised. He falls backwards, into the glass. And it isn’t until that moment, that Armie fully realises that the figure is Timothée.  
So he quickly turns on the light, only now noticing that Timothée has fallen backwards, into the broken glass. So he rushes back to him, and helps him onto his feet.  
“What did you…,” he begins to ask, but Timothée’s hands are bleeding, so he leads him into the bathroom, where he sits him down on the toilet. He doesn’t say another word, because the adrenaline is still rushing through his body, and he is still trying to process what had just happened.  
Only a minute ago, he had still been asleep. And what if he had been one of those people who sleeps with a gun by his bed? What if he had used it to protect himself, and he had used it on Timothée? What if he had actually beaten him, because he hadn’t recognised him in the dark?  
“I’m sorry,” Timothée says, as Armie picks the glass out of his wounds, and cleans them up. But still Armie doesn’t say a word.

“What happened?” Armie asks, after he has brought Timothée back to his bed. He had wanted to leave, but the young man had asked him to stay. So he is now in bed with him, his heart still beating fast. Because what if he had hurt him?  
“I couldn’t sleep, so I wanted to have a glass of water, but…” Timothée shrugs. “I must have dropped the glass.”  
“I almost hit you.”  
“Yeah.”  
“I didn’t know it was you,” Armie says, but Timothée is avoiding his eyes. “You know I would never hurt you, right?”  
“Yeah…”  
“Timmy, look at me,” Armie says, and Timothée looks up at him, a nervous look on his face. “I mean it. I’m not like those men. I would never hit you.”  
“I know.”  
“Why couldn’t you sleep? Are you still worried?” Armie asks, and Timothée nods. There has been a little buzz about the movie, but nothing too big. Although Armie has been working as an actor for years, he isn’t a big Hollywood name yet, and the press isn’t too interested in him, or his work. And as predicted, people don’t seem too interested in this ‘Timothée Chalamet’, who has been announced as his co-star, mostly because they don’t know him.  
“Do you want me to go to the club, to see if…”  
“No,” Timothée quickly says. “I’m just… I feel like I can’t breathe, like… I feel like…” Armie can hear that the young man is starting to panic, so he puts a hand on the side of his neck, and makes him face him.  
“What can I do to help?”  
“I don’t know,” Timothée admits. “You shouldn’t have come back for me, Armie. Look at…”  
“Stop,” Armie says, as he brushes his thumb over the young man’s jaw, his hand still on the side of his neck. “I don’t regret any of it, okay? I love you, Timmy.”  
“Don’t.”  
“I do,” Armie says, before wrapping his arms around him, and holding him as tight as he can. “So stop trying to push me away. I’m not going anywhere.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your comments on this story, reading them means a lot to me! I'm sorry I still haven't been replying, but I've been struggling with my health lately, and it's no excuse, but I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it. But I do want to thank you for taking the time to read this story, and for your kind words. So thank you!. <3

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/samanthadroppie/48071480792/)

“Have you seen this?”  
“What?”  
“This,” Colin says, as he hands Armie his phone. Armie feels sick to his stomach when he sees Timothée’s picture, underneath an ad on the website of the club where he used to work. “I’ve been keeping an eye on things, like you asked me to. And this popped up this morning.”  
“Those fucking…”  
“I can hack into their system, delete it, but…,” Colin suggests, but Armie sighs. “They will just post it again. Maybe it’s all over the club… If they’re using his name to attract people…”  
“I’m going to take care of it,” Armie says. “I get it if you don’t want to come with me, but…”  
“Oh, I’m coming with you,” Colin says, and Armie can’t help but smile. “You know I’m a rubbish fighter, right? So if it comes to that, I’m better at running. Just so you know.”  
“It won’t come to that.”  
“Are you going to tell Timothée?”  
“I’ll have to.”

“What did he say?” Colin says, when Armie gets into the car. “Was he upset?”  
“Yeah. But I told him we’re taking care of it.”  
“Are you going to pay them off?”  
“Maybe. I’ll try and talk to them first.” Armie sighs. “I was really hoping they wouldn’t do this to him. They were his friends.”  
“All they see is money.”  
“I know, but… He even used a different last name, to keep his acting career and that part of his life separate,” Armie explains. “So that if any of those guys Googled him, they wouldn’t be able to find him. He didn’t tell them about the movie he did… he made sure his clients never found out his real name…”  
“But his face is out there now. People will recognise him, no matter what name he used.”  
“I get that. But he has been living in fear for years, and he has been trying to do everything to stop this from happening,” Armie says. “To have his friends fuck him over…”  
“People might have already seen. It might have been picked up by the press, and…”  
“I know,” Armie interrupts him, as he checks his phone, to see if there are any articles about it yet.  
“Do your parents know?”  
“That he used to work there?”  
“Yeah.”  
“They hate him for it,” Armie says.  
“Have you told them about your relationship?”  
“What relationship?” Armie asks, and Colin looks at him. “We’re not… he has too much going on, so…”  
“But I thought… Aren’t you guys living together?”  
“We are. But we’re not… he’s not ready to be in a relationship,” Armie explains. “Every time I try to bring it up, he just shuts it down.”  
“Do you think he’s into you?” Colin asks, and Armie is hurt by the comment. But he had started to wonder the same thing himself. But then he remembers the argument they had had, back in Italy, and he remembers what Timothée had told him.  
“Yeah,” he says. “But it’s… what he’s been through, it has fucked him up, man. I don’t mean that he’s fucked up, but…”  
“I know.”  
“He doesn’t think he’s good enough, he’s constantly doubting himself. He’s scared that the life he has now, that it’s all going to disappear.”  
“Can you blame him?” Colin asks. “He was out there, being treated like shit, Armie. People didn’t treat him like a human being, they just used him like a… he was being paid for sex, he was being beaten up by those guys… that does something to you,” Colin says, and Armie nods. “Then this Hollywood actor comes barging in, like Prince Charming, and he promises him the world.”  
“Yeah…”  
“He is waiting for it all to fall apart, man. He is waiting for the moment where it all turns out to be a trap, or where you turn out to be just another one of those guys. It’s not because you’ve done anything wrong, but it’s because he doesn’t know any better.”  
“I keep telling him I don’t want anything in return. I have never asked him for anything, or…”  
“Just give him time,” Colin says.  
“I just want him to be okay.”  
“He will be. Just show him that you’re in it for the long run.”  
“Yeah.” Armie sighs, as they drive into the parking lot of the club. He checks his phone again, but the press doesn’t seem to have picked up on it yet, so he puts his phone in his pocket, before getting out of the car, Colin following him, as they go into the club.  
Armie hasn’t been back here since he had gotten Timothée’s address, because without Timothée here, there was no point in coming back. He had expected the club to have changed, he had expected it to feel different, because it’s been such a long time. But it still looks exactly the same, and even the men walking around are the same. Even the same men are still sitting at their usual table.  
The only thing that has changed, is the large poster with Timothée’s face, which is now up on the wall. It makes Armie feel sick to his stomach. And although he had told himself that he would remain calm, and he was going to talk about this, man to man, the poster is making his blood boil. So he rips it from the wall, and tears it in half.  
It only takes a second before a group forms around him, and Armie recognises most of the men as Timothée’s ex-colleagues. Some of them he had even met and spoken to. They had been friendly with him then, but they now look like they are about to kick him to the curb.  
“What the fuck did you do that for?” one of them asks.  
“Who did this?” Armie asks, holding up the torn poster. “Whose idea was it to use Timothée to promote the club?”  
“What is it to you?” a young man asks, and he is about to step up to Armie, but his friend holds him back.  
“He’s the guy who’s in the movie with Timothée,” his friend says. “It’s Armie Hammer.”  
“That’s… oh shit.” The young man says, and he steps back. “It wasn’t our idea. It was…,” he begins to say, but before he can finish his sentence, an older man pushes through the crowd, and steps up to Armie. Armie recognises him as Timothée’s former boss, and it takes a lot of strength not to punch him in the face right then and there. Because the man knows all about the way some men are treating the people who are working at the club, yet he allows it to happen, and he does nothing to stop it. As long as he is making money, why would he?  
“Was this your idea?” Armie asks.  
“I think you should go.”  
“Not until you remove anything that has to do with Timothée from the club, and from your website,” Armie says. “You are not using his face to attract customers, and…”  
“Or what?” the man asks, a cocky smile on his face.  
“Just get rid of it, man.”  
“No.”  
“Look, I…,” Armie begins, but the man steps up to Armie, their faces now almost touching. Armie struggles to keep calm, but he knows he has no choice, because the group of men are still watching them, and if he messes up now, there will be too many witnesses, and it will be all over the internet within minutes.  
“If I were you, I would leave now, mister Hammer,” the man says. “Or do you want the world to know just how much time you have spent here, staring at our boys?”  
“You fucking…,” Armie spits out, and Colin grabs his arm, to hold him back.  
“Now, I wonder what the world would think about that,” the mans says, the smile on his face growing. “Or what your pretty little fiancée would think…”  
“You son of a bitch,” Armie says, and he grabs the man by his shirt. “You take down the pictures, now! Do you hear me?”  
“Goodbye, mister Hammer.”  
“Armie…,” Colin tries, but before he can say another word, Armie has punched the man in the face. The man hits him back, but Armie is stronger than him, and he hits him again, and again, until he is on the ground, blood pouring from his face.  
Armie can hear the men around him yelling at him, he can feel Colin’s hand holding him back, he can feel his lip thumping, the blood running down his face. But it doesn’t fully get through to him. And it isn’t until he is in the back of a police car, that he snaps out of his daze, and he realizes just what he has done.

\---

“Thank you,” Armie says, when he and Elizabeth leave the police station the next day. Armie had fully expected Elizabeth to ignore his phone call, but the minute he had explained to her what had happened, she had come to bail him out.  
“It’s all over the internet.”  
“I figured.”  
“Not just that you were arrested,” Elizabeth says. “But where you were arrested.”  
“Yeah…”  
“Why were you there?”  
“It’s where Timmy used to work, and they’re using his picture to get people to come to the club, so…,” Armie tries to explain, and Elizabeth sighs. “Now that it’s all over the internet, people will look it up, and they will have seen it for sure…”  
“It’s not there now. I looked up the club,” Elizabeth says. “I figured it must have been the club where he used to work. I didn’t think you’d go to a club, not when you’re with him. Or maybe you would…” She rambles, and Armie grabs her hand. “People are saying you’re gay, Armie, because of what kind of club it is.”  
“I’m so sorry.”  
“I don’t care about people finding out about us,” Elizabeth says. “I’m worried about you. Are you ready for all of this? Are you ready to come out?”  
“No,” Armie admits. “I’m not even sure if I’m…”  
“You’re going to have to tell them something. This isn’t going to go away.”  
“I know.”  
“Does Timothée know what happened? Have you talked to him?”  
“Not yet.”

“Hey, man, are you alright?” Colin asks, when he opens the door. “I followed you to the station, but they wouldn’t let me see you.”  
“I know. I’m sorry for getting you into trouble.”  
“I’m not in trouble. You are,” Colin says. “But I don’t think the guy will press charges. He doesn’t want the police getting into his business, not with the stuff he’s up to. So I think you’ll get off with a warning, maybe.”  
“I doubt it.”  
“I think it’ll be alright.”  
“Maybe,” Armie says, as they go into the living room. “Did you hack into their system?”  
“No, why?”  
“They took down Timmy’s pictures.”  
“Beating up the guy worked then.”  
“Yeah,” Armie says, but he doesn’t feel happy, or relieved.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“When I got home, Timmy was gone. I’ve tried calling him, but… Maybe he’s just gone out, or…”  
“Did he leave a note?”  
“No.”  
“Is his stuff still there?” Colin asks.  
“There’s a bag missing, and some clothes,” Armie says, as he grabs his phone to check for messages again.  
“Maybe he just needs some time. He probably feels guilty for what happened last night, so… Have you checked his apartment?”  
“Yeah, he wasn’t there.”  
“He’s probably just out. He’ll be home by tonight.”  
“I hope so.”


	11. Chapter 11

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/samanthadroppie/48071480792/)

It’s been just over two weeks since Armie was arrested, and although the buzz about his arrest has died down, he knows he will have to address it some day. Because rumours are still being made up about it, and he knows that once the movie comes out, it will all be brought up again. He can’t just ignore it and pretend it hasn’t happened. But right now he has bigger things to worry about, because Timothée still hasn’t come back, and he hasn’t returned any of his calls.  
He has checked at the apartment every day, but every time he was there, there was no one in. He had even called Timothée’s parents and his sister, but they haven’t seen or heard from him either. But they don’t know he has gone missing. Armie hasn’t told anyone but Elizabeth and Colin, who are helping him, Elizabeth by calling every hospital, hotel, airline, even restaurant, just to see if his name has come up. And Colin is using his knowledge to hack into any system he can, but there is no trace of him. He simply seems to have gone up in smoke.  
Armie has just gotten back from Timothée’s apartment, and he is about to go to bed, when his phone starts ringing. He assumes it’s Elizabeth, with an update on how her search is going. But when he sees that it’s an unknown number, he hesitates to answer it. Because what if it’s a fan, who has found out his number? It wouldn’t be the first time.  
But he decides to answer it, and his heart starts beating fast, when he hears crying on the other end of the phone.  
“Timmy, is that you?”  
“Armie?”  
“Timmy, where are you?” Armie asks, but there’s a lot of noise, and for a moment, he thinks the connection is broken. But then he hears the young man’s voice again, and he breathes a sigh of relief.  
“I need your help.”  
“Tell me where you are.”  
“I’m sorry,” Timothée sobs, and Armie has to fight to stay calm. But he knows he has to, for Timothée’s sake.  
“Timothée, tell me where you are!”  
The young man tells him an address, and Armie feels sick to his stomach, because he recognises it, and knows it’s one of the worst neighbourhoods of the city. It is known for its crime, mostly related to drugs, but also for its prostitution. And the thought of Timothée having been there for the last two weeks, it makes him feel like he is about to explode with rage.  
“You stay there. I’ll be there in twenty minutes, okay?”  
“Thank you.”  
“Timmy?” Armie asks, hoping that he hasn’t hung up the phone yet. “I love you.”  
“I’m sorry,” Timothée says, before ending the connection. Armie grabs his things, jumps in the car, and nearly crashes into another car because he is panicking. But then he manages to calm himself down, because he knows he can’t help Timothée, not if he gets into an accident and ends up in the hospital.  
So he tries to steady his breath, as he makes his way over to the address which Timothée had given to him, but as he wants to get out of his car, he hesitates. Because what if he’s already too late?  
But then he takes a deep breath, he gets out of his car, and he starts looking for the young man. The phone call had been made from a payphone, but at first he can’t find one. He checks the address again, and he knows this is where Timothée told him he would be. But he is no where to be seen. So was it all a trick?  
But then he notices a dark alley, so he enters it, preparing himself for the worst. All the articles about gangs who are involved in drugs, shootings that have happened in this area, a body that was found here, only months ago, pop up in his head, and it takes everything not to panic. He walks past a homeless man, who doesn’t even look up at him, and everything inside of him tells him to turn around. Go home, where it’s safe. But he continues on, and in the darkness finds a figure hidden underneath a blanket.  
“Timmy?” he whispers, scared of who, or what is hidden in the dark. But the figure removes the blanket from its head, and Armie is shocked at what he sees. He takes a step back, and he can feel the tears starting to burn in his eyes.  
“I’m sorry,” Timothée whispers, but Armie just shakes his head, before kneeling down beside him, and wrapping his arms around him. “I’m so sorry.”  
“You’re okay now. We’re going home, okay?”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“Stop it,” Armie says, as he lets go of him. “It doesn’t matter. You’re…,” he begins, but the dark marks on the young man’s neck take his breath away, and he gets up. He stares out into the dark alleyway, and for a moment, he struggles to take in what is happening.  
“Armie…”  
“What happened?”  
“You know what happened,” Timothée says, and Armie nods. Because he does know. He had known it, the moment Timothée had disappeared.  
“You started working again?” he asks, not knowing how else to call it, and Timothée nods. “Why?” he asks, but before the young man can answer his question, he continues. “Who did this to you? Where is he?”  
“It doesn’t matter.”  
“It does,” Armie snaps. “Tell me, where is he?”  
“I’m not telling you,” Timothée says, still sitting on the ground, his knees pulled up to his chest, the blanket held tight around his body. “I don’t want you to get into any more trouble because of me.”  
“What did he do? Did he…?” Armie asks, his voice raised, but then he remembers the homeless man, so he lowers his voice. “Did he rape you?”  
“No,” Timothée says, avoiding Armie’s eyes.  
“Timmy!”  
“No,” the young man repeats, and he looks up at him. “He tried to, okay? But I fought him, so he…,” he explains, and he brings a hand up to his throat, to the dark marks on there. “I managed to get away, and I… I climbed out of the bathroom window, but…”  
“Is that how you ended up here?”  
“Yeah. My stuff is still in his apartment. My clothes, my phone…”  
“That stuff doesn’t matter,” Armie says, and Timothée looks out into the alley.  
“That guy over there, he gave me some of his money, so I could call you. And this is his too,” he says, looking down at the blanket. “I asked other people for help, but…”  
“The homeless guy?”  
“Yeah,” Timothée says. “If he hadn’t helped me…,” he says, before tears start falling from his eyes. Armie kneels down beside him again, and gives him a hug.  
“Let’s go home,” he whispers, before kissing the top of the young man’s head. He helps him up to his feet, but he is shaking, so he has to support him, as he leads him through the alley. But when they pass the homeless man, they stop.  
“Sir, you helped my friend tonight,” Armie says, and the man looks up. “I know it isn’t much, but it’s all I have on me right now,” Armie says, as he takes his wallet from his pocket, and takes out all the money, and hands it over to the man.  
“I don’t need your money.”  
“It’s to thank you, for your help.”  
“Honestly, sir, I don’t want it,” the man says, and he tries to give Armie his money back. But Armie notices the notebook, and the pen on the floor, so he reaches out to pick them up, before hesitating.  
“May I?”  
“Sure…”  
“If I can ever do anything to help, you give this number a call, alright?” he says, as he writes down his phone number in the notebook. “My name is Armie.”  
“Sir, I…”  
“Thank you, for helping my friend,” Armie says, as he puts down the notebook where he had found it. He reaches out his hand, and the man hesitates, before shaking it. “Thank you.”  
Armie turns back to Timothée, and carefully leads him to the car, where he turns up the heating, because the young man is shivering. But now that they’re out of the darkness, and in the light, he fully realizes just how bad he looks. His skin looks ashen, his eyes have gone dark, and they seem to have lost their light. But it’s the bruises that bring tears to his eyes. Knowing that tonight, someone had tried to rape him, strangle him. That someone had tried to end his life. It breaks his heart.

\---

Timothée had refused to go to the police, and he has made Armie promise not to tell anyone about what has happened in the two weeks that he had disappeared. And although the bruises are starting to fade, and the colour is slowly but surely returning to his skin, Armie can’t forget about what has happened.  
“How are you?” he asks, when he sits down next to Timothée on his bed. “How are the…,” he asks, as he brings his fingers up to the marks on the young man’s neck.  
“It’s getting better.”  
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk to someone about it? A professional.”  
“I’ll be fine.”  
“Timmy…”  
“I just want to forget it about,” Timothée says, and he grabs Armie’s hand.  
“Why did you leave?”  
“Because I knew I had fucked up your life. You had gotten arrested because of me, so…”  
“I got arrested because I beat the guy up. Because he was a dickhead,” Armie says, but Timothée just sighs. “Timmy, I… I don’t regret going to the club. Yeah, I was arrested, but… I’d do it again.”  
“Why? Now they say that you’re…”  
“Because I was trying to protect you. Because I love you,” Armie explains. “I would do it again, because I don’t want to see you in pain.”  
“I don’t want to ruin things for you.”  
“You won’t.”  
“I already have, Armie. Now people know that you and Liz aren’t together anymore, and they’re saying that you’re gay. Because you were at the club, and…”  
“So?” Armie asks, and Timothée finally looks up at him. “Let them say what they want to say.”  
“But…”  
“Timmy… I’m in love with you,” Armie says, and as soon as the words have left his mouth, he can’t help but smile. “I have been in love with you since… probably since the moment I first saw you, and…”  
“I told you, that was a character, that wasn’t me.”  
“But I know you now, don’t I?” Armie asks. “For fuck sake, man,” he laughs. “What can I do, to show you that I mean it? You want me to shout it from the rooftops? Because I will.”  
“Don’t,” Timothée says, a shy smile on his face.  
“I will get up there…”  
“I know.”  
“Why can’t you accept that I love you?”  
“Because I feel like I don’t deserve it,” Timothée admits.  
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” Armie asks. “If you don’t want to be with me, that’s fine, I’ll accept that. But…”  
“You know I do.”  
“Then stop pushing me away, Timmy.”  
“I just…”  
“Do you want to be with me?” Armie asks, and for a moment Timothée doesn’t say a word. It makes Armie question everything, because has he misunderstood everything? But then Timothée nods, a small smile on his face. “Will you talk to me, if you’re struggling, or…”  
“Yeah.”  
“No more running away?”  
“No,” Timothée says, “I promise. I’m…” He sighs. “I was scared, and I guess I needed to hit rock bottom before I could, you know...”  
“This is a new beginning, okay?” Armie says. “ Again,” he then adds, and they can’t help but laugh. Timothée snuggles up to him, and nuzzles his face into the crook of Armie’s neck. And just the warmth of having Timothée in his arms, of feeling him with him, it brings a smile to his face. And for the first time in weeks, he feels like things are going to be okay.  
“Armie?”  
“Mhm?”  
“I love you.”

\---

“…are saying about you!”  
“I don’t care!” Armie shouts, ashamed to be raising his voice to his mother. But she has been shouting at him ever since she arrived at the apartment, and his blood feels like it is boiling. “I don’t care if your perfect little family isn’t so perfect anymore!” he spits out.  
“You were arrested, Armie! At a… a…”  
“A what, mother? A club where men dance? Where they take their clothes off? Huh?”  
“Yes!”  
“Yes, I was!” Armie shouts.  
“I’ve always said it, ever since you brought that boy home, that… the stripper! He was only in it to ruin your life, Armie. To ruin your reputation. Look at you, you were with Elizabeth, and you were going to marry her, and now…”  
“Timmy has nothing to do with my relationship with Liz not working out, mother.”  
“Then ask her out again. It will do you good. Set up a photo op, it will look great if you…”  
“A photo op?” Armie asks. “You want me to ask Liz out, to make myself look better? You want people to think I’m dating her again?”  
“Yes, well…”  
“You want them to think I’m straight,” Armie says, and a tense silence follows. “I’m gay, mother. And you have known it, ever since you saw me with Matt. That is why…”  
“You shut your mouth!”  
“No!” Armie snaps. “I will not shut my mouth. I have kept quiet, because of you and father. But we all knew what was going on.”  
“Armand Hammer!”  
“I am gay,” Armie says. “And you can try to keep me quiet, you can try to set me up with Liz again, but it’s not going to change anything. I will still be gay.”  
“This is all that boy’s fault. He has…”  
“His name is Timothée, mother. And he has nothing to do with me being gay.”  
“No, you…,” Armie’s mother tries, but she is struggling to steady her breath. Armie knows he should be feeling sorry for her, or pity at least, but all he is feeling is anger. Hatred.  
“I’m in love with him. And I think he might be the person that I am going to be spending the rest of my life with,” he admits, trying to sound calm, trying not to show how big these words truly are. “Now you can either accept it, or…”  
“Accept it?” his mother spits out. “Don’t you dare say another word! Do you have any idea of the shame you are bringing to this family?”  
“Shame?” Armie laughs.  
“To be a… it is disgusting, Armie! And that boy! If you stay this way, we cannot…”  
“What?” Armie asks, interrupting her. “Accept it? Accept me?”  
“It is wrong! More than that, it is…”  
“I get it, mother.”  
“You can get help, Armie,” his mother suggests. “You can change. And when you have found your way again, we can accept you back into our lives, but…”  
“I like who I am.”  
“You can’t,” Armie’s mother says, as she puts a hand on his arm. “It is wrong, do you hear me? What you are doing, you… it is perverted. And you need help.”  
“I think you should go now,” Armie says, but his mother simply gives him a small squeeze in his arm.  
“I will give you some names. They will be able to help you.”  
“Please go.”  
“They…”  
“Now!” Armie snaps, and his mother nods, before picking up her bag, and leaving the apartment, without saying another word. Timothée comes out of the other room, and Armie gives him a big hug, not letting go of him for the longest time.  
“I’m so sorry…”  
“No,” Armie says, as he lets go of him. “I have let them control me for years. But I am done with living my life, hidden away. I am… I need to be able to be myself. And if they choose to not be a part of my life because of it, then… so be it.”  
“But they’re your parents.”  
“They’re not,” Armie says, “They don’t deserve that right, not after what she just said to me.” There is such anger in his eyes, that Timothée simply nods. “I don’t need them.”  
“Okay.”  
“You think I’m lying?”  
“I would be hurt, if my mother said that to me.”  
“I am hurt,” Armie admits. “But I’ve known for years that that’s how she feels about me. I knew it the moment she found out about Matt.”  
“Do you think she’ll change her mind?”  
“No. She means those words.”  
“I’m sorry,” Timothée says, and Armie sighs.  
“It has nothing to do with you. I promise.”

\---

“You came out to your parents?” Colin asks, as Armie hands him a beer. “Wow…”  
“Yeah, well, to my mom, but I’m sure she has told him.”  
“So does this mean that you’re…”  
“Gay?”  
“Yeah.”  
“I guess.” Armie shrugs.  
“Are you going to be one of those Hollywood closet cases?” Colin asks, and Armie raises an eyebrow, unable to hide the grin on his face.  
“I think it’s a bit late for that, don’t you think?”  
“Probably,” Colin laughs. “And Liz? What does she think about all this?”  
“I think she is starting to be okay with it. She was okay with me being gay from the moment I told her, but…” Armie shrugs. “I hate that I hurt her. She didn’t deserve that.”  
“She understands.”  
“You’ve spoken to her?”  
“A few times.”  
“Oh, really?” Armie asks, and Colin laughs, shaking his head.  
“There’s nothing going on between us.”  
“That’s a shame. I think you’d be great together.”  
“It’d be pretty weird,” Colin laughs, but Armie can tell that this isn’t the first time he is thinking about the possibility of being with Elizabeth.  
“If you like her, go for it, man.”  
“She’s your ex.”  
“Yeah, and I’m with Timmy,” Armie laughs. “It’s not like I’ll be the jealous ex.”  
“I guess…”


	12. Chapter 12

[](https://www.flickr.com/photos/samanthadroppie/48071480792/)

“Hi, I’m Armie.”  
“Darryl,” the designer says, as he struggles to carry his things into the apartment. Armie notices, so he quickly takes his things from him, and together, they carry them into the living room. “I’m so sorry, my assistant was supposed to come with me today, but…”  
“Don’t worry about it,” Armie says, as he sets down one of the heavy bags. “I ehm… let me see where Timmy is, yeah? Can I get you a drink?”  
“I’m alright, thanks,” the designer says, looking more than a little nervous.  
“Are you sure? We just got a new coffee machine.”  
“Oh, ehm…”  
“I’ll get you a coffee,” Armie laughs, before disappearing from the living room. He quickly goes into the bathroom, only to find Timothée sitting on the edge of the bathtub, a nervous look on his face.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“It’s getting very real, isn’t it?”  
“Yeah,” Armie laughs. “You’re a movie star now.”  
“Shut up.”  
“Come on,” Armie says, as he takes his hand, and pulls him up to his feet. He gives him a kiss, before going back into the living room, where the designer is setting up a clothing rail. He leaves Timothée to introduce himself to Darryl, while he goes into the kitchen to make them coffee. But he can’t help but smile to himself, when he hears how shy and awkward Timothée is, as he introduces himself, and offers to help, but the designer declines his offer.  
And when he goes into the living room, he finds a very uncomfortable looking Timothée, sitting on the sofa, Darryl now hanging up outfits on the clothing rail.  
“So, I didn’t know what your style was,” Darryl says, as he takes the coffee from Armie, before looking over to the young man on the sofa. “So I brought a few different outfits. I hope you like them.”  
“Relax,” Armie laughs, “Drink your coffee first. We won’t bite.”  
“Right, sorry,” Darryl says, “I’m sorry, this is the first time I’ve been asked to design for actual…”  
“Timmy saw your Instagram, and we love your style. So don’t worry, man.”  
“Sorry,” the designer laughs, before sitting down in the chair, a nervous look on his face. Armie looks over at the clothes on the rail, and he can’t help but notice a pair of black leather trousers. They remind him of the leather trousers Timothée had worn when he had first seen him perform, and he can’t help but smile. And when he looks over to Timothée, and he notices the blush on his face, he knows that Timothée has noticed them too.

“I think it might be a bit too much,” Armie says, after the designer has shown him a suit with a geometric print on it. “I’m more of a…”  
“Something a bit more… mature?” Darryl suggests.  
“Yeah,” Armie laughs. “Thanks, man. How old do you think I am?”  
“Thirty… five?” Darryl guesses, and Armie shakes his head, laughing.  
“Sure, man. Let’s go for something more mature.”  
Armie notices Timothée in the corner of his eye, trying not to laugh. But when he glances over to him, he has to cover his face, and Armie just shakes his head, as the designer grabs another suit from the rail. This one has plain black trousers, a velvet black jacket, and a simple white shirt.  
“Very age appropriate,” Timothée says, trying to keep a straight face, and Darryl nods in agreement.  
“Yeah,” Armie laughs. “Definitely.”  
“Want to try it on?”  
Armie is used to this, so he gets out of his clothes, right then and there, and gets into the suit. It isn’t a perfect fit, not yet, but it’s close. And as he checks himself out in the mirror, he can’t help but smile.  
“Like it?”  
“Yeah, it’s great. But it’ll have to look good with Timmy’s outfit.”  
“Not with Elizabeth’s dress?” Darryl asks, and Armie turns to face him.  
“No, we ehm… Timmy is my date to the premiere.”  
“Oh, alright,” the designer says, as he starts looking through the outfits on the rail. But then he seems to realise just what he is saying, and he looks back at Armie. “Oh!”  
“Yeah,” Armie laughs. “So it’ll have to look good with his outfit.”  
“No pressure then,” Darryl laughs. “This’ll be your first outing as a couple, right?”  
“Yeah,” Timothée laughs. “No pressure at all.”  
“Are you nervous?”  
“First movie, first premiere, first time out as Armie’s partner… I don’t see why I would be nervous,” the young man laughs, and Armie looks over to him. “But I’m excited.”  
“The premiere is in two weeks, right?”  
“Don’t remind me,” Timothée laughs, as the designer grabs a suit from the rail. It’s a dark purple velvet suit, and Armie wants to tell him to put it back on the rail, but he keeps quiet.  
“What about this? To match the velvet on Armie’s suit.”  
“It’s a bit… I mean, it’s a great suit, but I think for me it’s a bit… I don’t think it’s very me?”  
“You can try it on, see if you like it?” Darryl suggests, but Armie can tell that Timothée absolutely hates it, but is too nervous to say no.  
“What about the leather pants?” he suggests, and the designer turns to face him, the purple suit still in his hands.  
“You would both wear black? Isn’t that a bit…,” he says, but then he shrugs, and he exchanges the purple suit for the leather pants, a simple black jacket and a black shirt. “It isn’t real leather, but…”  
“I love it,” Timothée interrupts him, and Armie can’t help but laugh. “Shut up, Armie.”  
“Am I missing something here?”  
“No,” both men say, but Darryl just shrugs. He hands Timothée the outfit, but Timothée hesitates, and Armie can tell that he is feeling insecure about having to undress in front of the designer. When he had stripped off at the club, he had been in character, when he had gotten naked for the film, he had been in character. But here he is, unable to hide behind a character, and it leaves him vulnerable, exposed.  
“I’ve got these shoes that I want to show you,” Armie says, and he takes Darryl by the arm, before leading him out of the room. He takes him into the bedroom, and shows him a pair of his best shoes, asking him if they will look good with the suit, stalling until he is sure that Timothée is done getting changed.  
“What do you think?” Darryl asks, when they go back into the living room. “Do you like it?”  
“I’ve never worn something like this before.”  
“I hope that’s a good thing?”  
“Definitely,” Timothée laughs, as Armie comes up to him, and wraps an arm around his waist.  
“How do we look?” he asks, and the designer gets his phone out of his pocket, and takes a picture. He shows it to the two men, who are both unable to hide their smiles.  
“These are the suits then?”  
“Definitely.”

\---

“Timmy?”  
“Mhm.”  
“It’s tomorrow already,” Armie whispers, as the young man opens his eyes. They had gone to bed early, to try and get a good night’s sleep before the premiere. But they are both still wide awake.  
“Everything is going to change today.”  
“Nah, it isn’t. We’re not going to change.”  
“People will know us,” Timothée says, and Armie can’t help but smile. “Well, they already know you, but…”  
“It feels weird, the movie not being just ours anymore.”  
“I know.”  
Armie puts his hand on the side of Timothée’s neck, and he struggles to hold back tears. Because how can he explain all the things he is feeling? How can he put it into words? All the things he has been feeling, ever since their first meeting, ever since their kiss, before Italy, ever since they had made the movie, since he had nearly lost him, since they have gotten together? How can he explain just how much Timothée means to him? How he wants to protect him, how he wants to protect the life they have together, and everything that comes with it, including the movie?  
“It feels like we’re about to give a part of ourselves away,” Timothée says, and Armie nods. “I wish we could run away and just, I don’t know, start over.”  
“Me too.” Armie sighs. “We’ll move to an island, where no one knows us, and…”  
“We’ll live happily ever after?” Timothée suggests, a shy smile on his face, Armie’s hand still on the side of his neck. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s meant for people like me.”  
“Or me.”  
“So we’re not running away?”  
“I guess not.” Armie shrugs, before kissing the young man. “We could try kidnapping Luca.”  
“What?” Timothée laughs, as Armie rolls onto his back, and starts staring up at the ceiling.  
“We can make him destroy the movie.”  
“Please tell me you’re not serious.”  
“Of course I’m not,” Armie laughs. “I’m excited to see it. Even if I want to keep it to myself, I’m… this is the movie I am most proud of, so…”  
“It’s going to be big, isn’t it?”  
“I think so.”

\---

“Wow, you look…,” Armie begins, but he stops himself, when Timothée steps up to him and kisses him.  
“I know why you like it so much,” Timothée whispers into his ear, and Armie can’t help but laugh. “Don’t think I don’t know.”  
“What? You looked great in those leather briefs!”  
“That reminds me,” Timothée laughs. “I still owe you that dance, mister Hammer.” He laughs, a cheeky smile on his face.  
“You do?”  
“Well, you never did get to see it, so…”  
“Yeah, I don’t think this is the time,” Armie laughs, fully aware of the fact that they are already running late. “Save it for the honeymoon, yeah?”  
“What did you say?” Timothée asks, and only now does Armie realise what he has just said.  
“Nothing.”  
“Did you…?”  
“No,” Armie says. “I didn’t say anything.”  
“You just said…”  
“No, I didn’t.”  
“Yeah, you did,” Timothée laughs. “Interesting.”  
“Like you didn’t know,” Armie says, as he wraps his arms around him, and pulls him close. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Timmy.”  
“That’s a big step.”  
“I’m not asking you anything. Not yet. But… yeah. Besides, you already knew this, because I said it to my mom, right?”  
“Yeah, but… I thought you said it to hurt her,” Timothée admits, and Armie can’t help but smile.  
“Well, I didn’t. I mean it, alright?”  
“Right…”  
“Have I said too much?” Armie asks, but Timothée just shakes his head, before resting his head on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”  
“Are you sure we can’t run away?”

The two men have been posing for pictures for a while now, but they have been ignoring everyone’s questions so far. And although Armie hasn’t taken his arm from Timothée’s waist, mostly because he is shaking so badly, and he’s scared that the young man will fall over if he doesn’t hold him, no one has seemed to caught on to the fact that they are here as a couple yet. They simply seem to think that they are here as the two leading men.  
But they know that they can’t ignore the press forever, so Armie leads Timothée over to them, and right away they are bombarded with questions, most of them about Armie’s arrest. And although he knows he should have said something about it already, he had decided to ignore it. Because why explain it? People would twist his words anyway.  
“Where’s Elizabeth?” someone asks, and Armie can see the uncomfortable look on Timothée’s face.  
“She’s here somewhere,” Armie says. “But we ehm… we haven’t been together for months now, so we’re not here together.”  
“You’re not engaged to Elizabeth anymore?”  
“No, I’m not,” Armie answers. “We separated months ago.”  
“What happened?”  
“We ended our relationship,” Armie laughs. “That’s it. And we’re good friends now.”  
“Are the rumours true, Armie?” someone else shouts out, as she shoves her microphone towards him. “Were you arrested at a gay bar because…”  
“I was arrested at a gay bar?” Armie laughs. “I did not know that.”  
“It says here you were arrested for…”  
“I was arrested, but I don’t think it’s necessary to discuss that today,” Armie says. “We’re here for Call Me By Your Name, so… let’s talk about the movie, right?”  
“Timothée, this is your first movie,” someone else asks, as they move away from the woman who had brought up the arrest. “What was it like, working with Armie?”  
“It was great,” Timothée laughs. “He’s my best friend, so…”  
“There are rumours that the two of you are living together?”  
“That’s true,” Armie answers, and he can’t help but notice the blush on the young man’s face. The beautiful boy he had fallen in love with, the man he knows he will never stop being in love with, his best friend, who has changed his life, who has given him the strength to be himself.  
“So are the two of you more than just co-stars, or friends?”  
“Yes. We are.”

“Where is Timmy?” Luca asks, when they’ve all sat down, and the movie is about to begin. Armie had been dragged off to talk to people, before being taken to his seat. He had assumed that Timothée had simply been talking to the press, but he is nowhere to be seen, and Armie feels himself starting to panic. Because what if Timothée has decided that this is too much, what if he has run away again? What if this time Armie can’t get to him in time to help?  
“Armie? Where is he?” Luca repeats, and Armie snaps out of his thoughts.  
“I’ll go look for him.”  
Armie gets up, and he storms out of the room. He grabs his phone, and he tries calling Timothée, but it goes to voicemail, and he wants to kick himself for telling him to turn his phone off before getting here. He leaves the venue, hoping to find Timothée outside, but the press is still there, and he immediately regrets his decision, because they all storm towards him, bombarding him with questions. So he goes back inside, quickly realising that there is no way Timothée would have been able to get past them.  
He then notices the stairs, and although there’s a sign that clearly says ‘no entry’, he goes upstairs, climbing all the way up to the roof, where he finds Timothée staring down at the street below.  
“We’re going to miss the movie,” Armie says, but Timothée just shrugs. “You want to stay up here?”  
“I wish we could go back.”  
“To the others? We can, just…”  
“No, to Italy,” Timothée tries to explain. “I wish we could do it again, and just… I wish we wouldn’t have to be here, and be…”  
“Us?” Armie asks. “You know that you can’t run away from your past, don’t you?”  
“I know. But I know you felt it too. When we were there, there was no pressure, there was no…”  
“Then why don’t we move there?” Armie suggests, but Timothée just laughs, shaking his head. “I mean it, Timmy. We were both happy there, so why not move?”  
“But what about…?”  
“What about what? Your family? They can come over to visit, can’t they?”  
“I guess… but we can’t just pack up and leave, can we?” Timothée laughs.  
“Why not?”  
“Because… would you really be willing to move?”  
“Let’s do it,” Armie laughs, before wrapping his arms around Timothée, and kissing him.  
“We should probably get back.”  
“We could stay up here.”  
“Luca would kill us.”  
“True,” Armie laughs, before letting go of him, and making his way over to the door. “Oh, and Timmy?”  
“Yeah?”  
“About that dance you still owe me…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to anyone who has read this all the way to the end!
> 
> I decided to end this story here, even though in my mind I know exactly what happens next for these guys. But I decided to keep it a little more open, so you can decide for yourselves if they get their happy ending or not.
> 
> I've already got a bunch of new stories written, so maybe until next time! So, later! <3


End file.
